the martian girl

I moved........

2011-10-25T16:03:00.002+08:00

....to wordpress!! weh! hahahaha! akala pala! pero babalik-balik pa rin! hahahahaha!

aaaawww goodbye to my favorite blogspot bloggers!!!!!!!!

off to my NEW BLOG

74%

2011-10-25T15:43:00.001+08:00

You and B are
74% Compatible
Your Happy Place
"This is one of those relationships that just works. For once, you don't have to deal with any of the annoying, embarrassing or disturbing situations that are par for the course with dating life. It's like you two "get" where the other person is coming from and make each other feel as comfortable in your skin as possible. So you can toss aside your fear of rejection, just be yourself and go for it, no holds barred! You love that you're both up for anything, and can take off on an adventure or start a new project together at a moment's notice. He appreciates that you've helped him to become a more spontaneous person. With your influence, he can start living life to the fullest. And he's "home" for you, providing someplace safe, stable and supportive to always come back to. It doesn't hurt that your physical attraction always keeps things interesting, regardless of whether you're out cliff jumping or staying in to watch the Discovery channel. Provided that you address emotional tensions and keep them from building up, you two are headed for a life of awesomeness."
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I got this from a test online wherein the compatibility of two people lies on their respective birthdays and here's what I got. A whopping 74%!
I know for a fact that for a test over 100, this is definitely a failing mark, but for a compatibility test, it's something one can be proud of or be happy about. It doesn't say that we're completely perfect for each other (which is sad), but reading the whole thing, I was still comforted by the fact that it said that last line right there: you two are headed for a life of awesomeness! :)
Not to brag or anything, but I think that the whole thing basically described us! HAHA! Kapal eh! Well, not exactly the whole thing that's why I had to highlight (yellow) the things that were most applicable to us. The ones in violet are the things that need improvement! haha!

oonga, why nursing, Mars?

2011-10-20T07:57:00.002+08:00

I posted the same thing on my tumblr account and I wanted to post it here too so I can always look back in a few years time, pag successful nurse na ako (hopefully) as to why I love (ows??) and continue to try to LOve (much better) NURSING.

REBLOGGED from TUMBLR:

yesterday, during our IVT completion at VMMC, my groupmate from ceu mentioned something about a viral (kaya nga napanood na rin niya eh) video on FB (pa!). She asked us, "napanood nyo na ba yung video sa FB na Why Nursing, Anna?". At first, all I said was, "hindi" and I wasn't all giddy about it (unlike her) tapos ayun she said that it was really funny especially yung sa UNIFORM part. Then I had a hunch na baka si Anna Tan batchmate 'to from ust and true enough, lo and behold siya nga! and In fairness, out of all her vlogs, eto yung pinaka-naenjoy ko, maybe because I can relate well from the UNIFORM to the experiences to the reason why by the end of each day, pag hirap na hirap na ako sa duty, narerealize ko, yeeeeep, nursing is rewarding! JOY! ;)

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

2011-09-26T15:47:00.003+08:00

I've been a fan of Avril Lavigne ever since she came out with her first single, "complicated" almost 8 years ago. I was in grade 7 and her song (album pala) literally became viral all over the world, including here in the Philippines in just a snap of a finger! I am exaggerating, but you can't deny the fact that it's true!

Back then, during recess time, I would hear batchmates taking a break in the school corridors, talking about their favorite avril lavigne songs. Some were even singing uncontrollably in between classes rin with friends who also were into her.

My friends and I bought her first album, "LET GO". Mine was a cassette copy (coz the CD was too expensive for me), but mind you, I couldn't stop playing the damn thing day and night. A few weeks later, I was able to memorize all of her songs (with all the nonstop playing and all, of course). I could not exactly tell which one was my favorite out of all her songs because (if you were a fan too, you'd know that) everything, as in EVERYTHING was really GREAT! You could really relate to her lyrics (which i came to know that she wrote herself). It's funny coz the packaging of her album had all the lyrics printed in her own handwriting (complete with strikethroughs and erasures pa!)! Odiba, yun palang bilib na bilib na ako sa kanya. It was as almost if like a journal lang of hers in musical form.

As I was saying, I LOVED and ADORED her whole album that I cannot seem to choose which one I liked BEST so I'd like to categorize the songs in 3 classifications.There were songs na I really loved, really, really loved and WOULD KILL ME IF I CANNOT PLAY AT LEAST 80 times A DAY! WEH?! di nga? haha!

songs that i really loved:

Losing grip
I'm with you
Mobile
Unwanted

songs that i really, really loved:

Sk8er boi
Too much to ask
My world
Things I'll never say

songs that WOULD KILL ME IF I CANNOT PLAY AT LEAST 80 times A DAY!:

NOBODY's FOOL!!!!------the rap part I couldn't resist! SOOOOPER FAVE!
Complicated
Tomorrow
Anything but ordinary
Naked

So anyway, that was the first album lang. When she came out with her succeeding albums, I wasn't able to buy them na due to financial crisis (wahaha), but nonetheless, I liked everything just the same and downloaded them ALL on my player! 8 years later, here I am, still singing her songs (both old and new alike) to death! I am even listening to her newest single "WISH YOU WERE HERE" now, on repeat mode to get me in the mood for writing this! HAHA! Kidding! Baliktad actually. I wrote this because I cannot stop playing the song over and over and I suddenly thought of writing and giving tribute to one of the best singer-songwriters of this generation! Why not right? She was a big part of my teenage life! :P

So aside from being a great influence as to who I've become today (talaga lang?!), here are the things that I did just because I was a big fan of hers:

I once tried to wear that punk-rock outift of hers (white top and neck tie) and sang SK8er Boi and Complicated in front of the mirror!!! OH YEAH!
I also tried on her VERY DARK and SMOKEY EYESHADOW make up with my liquid liner! I saw her do a live version of her songs from the 3rd album (if i'm not mistaken) and I liked how her eyes bled of BLACK EYESHADOW!! haha! adik lang talaga!
I downloaded all the chords to her songs (yung kaya ko lang i-play--actually almost all her songs had very easy chords kaya keri naman) and sang them unendlessly/unendingly (kung anuman) in our room (sorry kay kat na inendure lahat ng yun noon! best audience ever!!!). Actually, her songs were the very first songs I learned to play in the guitar so KUDOS avril, you really changed my life! hahaha!! Among my favorites were: "Keep Holding on" (with my own version coz it was too high haha), "Happy Ending", "Why"!
I sang and partied like a rockstar in our room once, complete with feelingera rockstar moves pa while playing "WHAT THE HELL" on repeat mode (as usual).
I watched her first concert here ON TV! AKO NA! AKO NA ANG LOSER and I sang all her songs (as if andun talaga ako sa venue) with matching emote emote pa and iyak coz I was sooo touched by her presence and the energy of the crowd. I felt that she was touched by the Filipinos singing her songs out loud down to the very last lyric!

Anyway, Avril, if by chance you get to read this, I wanna be your best friend so we can tour the world together on skateboards and skater boys! (WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ECHOS!) YUN NA!

Here's the wish you were here video (dedicated to uhmm alam mo na! HI!):

P.S. avril's so good in singing and composing (?) really good emo songs and aside from wish you were here, above, and when you're gone, eto pa yung isang emo song na I love playing on repeat mode:

CIAO!!!

getting productive...

2011-09-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

I'm finally beginning to take hold of my life, or so I think; but nevertheless, I actually feel like I'm beginning to do something good for once in my life. Yesterday, I was with my best friend, looking for hospitals that are open for employment or for training for newly-graduated/registered nurses. Though 2 out of the 5 hospitals we went to weren't accepting applicants as of the moment, we still felt a bit hopeful of the fact that somehow, the rest accepted our resumes!!!! Iba pala talaga yung pakiramdam pag alam mong yung hirap at pagod mo may napuntahan talaga! Plus, we were finally able to get out of our bum routines, leave that lazy couch at home and do something MEGA productive!

Oh the perils, este the joys of Job Hunting pala: We didn't have our own car (which would've made hospital hunting easier), we almost ran out of funds (thanks to the the requirements that needed express processing and photocopying), we ate lunch at around 2 in the afternoon already, we even had to literally walk from hospital to hospital under the scorching heat; but by the end of the day, it was worth all the calloused feet, sunburned, greasy face and disgusting, haggard look because we felt like we finally had accomplished something and it's quite encouraging, knowing that someday, these institutions might actually take time and give us a call or even hire us for a position we've been asking for.

Nikki, taking a pic of the requirements

requirements!

passed by my dormie!

Job hunting also made me feel a bit more eager (as compared to a few months back) to work already. Some people would've wanted to work as early as days after graduation or in our case, after completing the requirements for work, but not me. I felt like I got too burnt out or stressed back in college, that I just wanted to live my BUM dream and vowed never to work again. Thankfully, that Juan Tamad in me finally had the initiative to stand up and grab that guava out of that tree instead of just waiting for it to fall into his mouth. I finally felt that I wanted to work and take care of patients again. Maybe I just needed that reality check to give me a little push. I realized that I need to stop being a freakin' lazy couch potato and work my ass off to earn money and help pay the bills at home! SERIOUS MODE NA!!!

St. Luke's, qc

One reason why I suddenly lost interest din in working early is because of my love-hate relationship withe my course (gusto pa!). I felt like I hated nursing more than I should have loved it from the start pa lang, unlike the others, though I admit that no one forced me to take this but myself. Then slowly, I began to realize that Nursing made me feel bad about myself. It made me feel inferior couple of times. It pushed my self-esteem so low, it almost hit the ground, but now that I'm happy to say that I actually miss it!!! I never thought that I'd be wanting to clean up after my patients again, to take time and establish rapport again, to administer medications, feeding and hopefully do whatever it is that I haven't done yet (in my 3 years of hospital duty as a student nurse). I'd like to believe that I've become stronger and much braver to actually want all these things in my life again. I still am so scared that I might not be able to do my duties well enough or that I might do something to compromise not only my license but those of my patients lives. But I believe that I am good, or great even, and I have the potential to be the best nurse, if I work hard enough. I'd even want to promise myself that once I get hired either as a nurse trainee or if I'm lucky as a staff nurse, I would do my best to help my patients recover and obtain optimum well being again! I PROMISE!

BUKO SHAKE LOVE after a long day :)

LAST POST, I PROMISE!!!!!

2011-09-12T18:27:00.000+08:00

AWESOMENESSSSSSS!!! girl power!

Can I just Say that...

2011-09-12T18:10:00.001+08:00

...PETER LEE JOHNSON IS THE MAN!!!

LUPE FIASSSCOOOOOOO covers!!!

2011-09-12T17:49:00.001+08:00

When I like a particular song, I make it a point to look for talented people on youtube who do sooooper creative covers of that song. True enough, there were more than a few who took my breath away! SOOOOPER AWESOME!!!!

This guy made an acoustic cover of the song and he's good!! *eyebrows raising* NICE ONE PARE! Love his voice!

Then it gets better, we have this guy who made a piano rendition of the song's melody!!! SooooooOoO good!!

Then here's another fave cover of ze song: VIOLIN VERSION!!!!!! SOOOPER COOL mo lang pare!!! sort of a mashup up of the show goes on and pachelbel (as the title says).... SWEEET!!

Here's another acoustic version of the song. He made a mashup of the song and "closing time". IKAW NA!!!! hahaha

OOOoOpsie, before I forget, I also saw this guy, he's PINOY and had the song rewritten!! kuya, you're awesome too!

Loved them all!! TWO THUMBS UP (ala ebert and roeper lang eh!) haha! If I could ask my sister to hand me her thumbs, I would you guys 4 thumbs up!!!! AWESOME!!!!

the show goes on......alright!

HOW TOs...

2011-09-12T16:56:00.000+08:00

I badly need to wash the stain off my tarnished necklace however, I still haven't bought this silver cleaner from the jewelry store. Fortunately, I saw this homemade silver cleaner on tv (which if I can remember clearly is a mixture of baking soda and apple cider vinegar). However, since I'm too scared that this homemade shizz might actually ruin the quality of this special necklace, I had to look it up on the internet (where else?).

So I found these sites suggesting I put my silver thingy into a bowl of boiling water with baking soda and aluminum foil instead. Said it works wonders. However, I still wasn't convinced that this would work (plus, I got even more scared of the fact that I had to boil the necklace). Good thing, we have YOUTUBE, where we can actually see how things work magically, right in front of our eyes!!

THEN, I found this video! It literally made me wanna jump for joy! It's like a more scientific and a more complicated magic trick, for adults only! Then again, kid geniuses these days might appreciate it more than adults would!! Apparently, our jewelry undergoes a redox reaction and silver sulfide forms on them which causes the black stains that we want to scrub off! The aluminum foil acts as the reducing agent which reverses the chemical change our jewelry underwent and renders it stain-free. (haaaayyy how i hate chem!). hahaha!

OH JOY!!! Amazing isn't it? So, Imma go buy baking soda from the grocery tomorrow on the way home and try this! Sooooper excited!

Anyway, you know how when you're on youtube, you get the tendency to watch the related videos lined up beside the current video you're watching? Then you get addicted till you catch yourself opening a thousand tabs just so you could watch them all and post them on your blog like this? Then that's what happened today! I got carried away, checking out these weird yet funny, helpful and amazing "HOW TO" videos of people on YOUTUBE! So here are some of the ones that caught my eye today! I could go on and on, but I still got a lot of things to do before the sun sets (weh??), so.....

And here's another how to clean your silver video...

Then I found other uses of baking soda. Apparently, it can also tighten one's pores! I knew it could clean a lot of things and make your teeth whiter, but I never heard this one before!

Then there's the "how to take the blackheads off your nose with the use of elmer's glue" video:

Then I found this hilarious video of Jenna Marbles. Just the tone of her voice made my day! Sinong bored?

Then there were more Jenna Marbles how to videos:

Then I just had to LOOK FOR a HOW TO COOK KOREAN JAP CHAE video! I just had to because I am seriously dying just thinking about it now! CRAAAAAVE!!!!

And wow, seriously, this is how I want my noodles...hand-stirred noodles! para masarap!!!

Then I also had to look for this video of how to launch a soda bottle rocket! I missed this! Back in high school, the only reason why I loved PHYSICS class is because of the experiments! This was by far, the best thing we did! I even planned on doing it all saints' day of that year in the cemetery with my siblings and cousins (but there were too many people, I had to ensure the safety of the majority haha!). Maybe we could still do it in the cemetery, wag nga lang sa November! OOoOhhh!! Sounds like a plan!

This next video is a lazier way of doing the rocket. Yes, because you could always substitute the bike pump with a compressor! odiba?

So there you go! Tune in again next time for more!!! weeeeeeehhhhhhhh! radio dj lang?!?! CIAO!!

the show goes on...

2011-09-12T08:50:00.002+08:00

Ever since my sister introduced this song to me, for some reason, it keeps playing and getting stuck in my head, randomly. Usually one needs to hear or listen to a song first before they get LSSed by it, but in my case (or in this case), it doesn't necessarily have to be that way.

There's this certain "good vibe" that this song brings me which relaxes me and makes me feel like I'm a real ghetto girl or something. HAHA! Plus, it has this nice rhythm unlike other hiphop songs, which makes it much more pleasing to thy ears! The lyrics don't seem so bad as well, talking about the usual small town rapper boy who made it big in the music industry (after working so hard) and continues to dream big, and in his journey to success, he inspires little rappers out there to never give up on their dream (no matter how far or impossible it may seem). KUDOS LUPE FIASCO!

"THE SHOW GOES ON"

LA-SER
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!

[Lupe Fiasco Verse 1]
Have you ever had the feeling that you was being had
Don’t that sh-t make you mad
They treat you like a slave, with chains all on your soul,
And put whips up on your back,
They be lying through they teeth
Hope you slip up off your path
I don’t switch up I just laugh
Put my kicks up on they desk
Unaffected by they threats than get busy on they ass
See that’s how that Chi-Town made me
That’s how my daddy raised me
That glittering may not be gold, don’t let no body play me
If you are my homeboy, you never have to pay me
Go on and put your hands up, when times are hard you stand up
L-U-P the man, cause a brand that the fans trust
So even if they ban us they’ll never slow my plans up!

Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!

[Lupe Fiasco Verse 2]
One in the air for the people that ain’t here
Two in the air for the father that’s there
Three in the air for the kids in the ghetto
Four for the kids who don’t wanna be there

None for the n-ggas trying to hold them back
Five in the air for the teacher not scared to tell those kids thats living in the ghetto that the n-ggas holdin back that the World is theirs!
Yeah yeah, the World is yours, I was once that little boy
Terrified of the World
Now I’m on a World tour
I will give up everything, even start a world war
For these ghettos girls and boys im rapping round’ the World for!
Africa to New York, Haiti then I detour, Oakland out to Auckland
Gaza Strip to Detroit, say hip-hop only destroy
Tell em’ look at me, boy!
I hope your son don’t have a gun and that would be a D-boy

Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!

[Lupe Fiasco Verse 3]
So no matter what you been through
No matter what you into
No matter what you see when you look outside your window
Brown grass or green grass
Picket fence or barbed wire
Never ever put them down
You just lift your arms higher
Raise em till’ your arms tired
Let em’ know you’re their
That you struggling and survivin’ that you gonna persevere
Yeah, ain’t no body leavin, no body goin’ home
Even if they turn the lights out the show is goin’ on!

Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!

I FREAKIN' PASSED THE JULY 2011 NURSING LICENSURE EXAMINATIONS!!!!!

2011-08-26T13:50:00.008+08:00

2 months ago, I almost backed out of taking the test due to severe anxiety. I even begged my mother the night before the exams to let me take the test in December na lang because I seriously thought that I wasn't completely prepared yet, but true enough, like what our Dean/Asst. Dean said during our last pep talk before the exams, UST has been preparing us ever since we first stepped into that school, 4 years ago. Sabi nga nila yung reviews and enrichment daw yung icing na lang sa cake. YUNG SPONGECAKE, matagal na daw na-bake!!! To tell you honestly, I bought reviewers that I merely touched and I panicked on the last 2 weeks before the exams. Been too lax because I kind of had this confidence that no UST-CON will ever fail the boards. Then came the dreaded July 2-3, 2011, my rlemates and I met at St. Paul University's (alma mater!) entrance and did a little bit of catching up and checked each other's requirements for the exams. I kind of felt good that we all saw each other before the exams. It helped me a lot kasi I needed to laugh off the anxiety I was feeling that day! I think that we were all anxious.....pero MILD na lang, yung tipong alert yung utak mo and nakakapag-process pa yung brain mo ng matino! Like what they taught us in nursing school, sa stage ng mild anxiety ka usually nakakapagbigay ng health teachings sa patients mo dahil naiintindihan pa nila yung mga binabanggit mo. YES! may na-retain pa sa mga lessons!

Anyway, like what I said, I passed the board EXAMS! Still cannot believe it, and it's been a week after the results were released. I'm glad that I offered everything to the Lord. Truly works wonders! THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I need to go church-hopping with Mara and Joey and go back to all the churches and saints we asked help from!!!! THANK YOU PO LORD, St. Jude Thaddeus, St. Clare of Assisi, St. Pio of Pietrelcina, St. Thomas Aquinas and of course, St. Paul!!!!!

I also want to thank my family who's been there for me ever since I took the USTET 4 years ago. Thank you for tagging along during special events at school, for waking up sooooper extra early on Mondays just to take me back to my dorm, for always being supportive through thick and thin and for loving me for who I am. Thank you Papa, Mama, Kat and Jus for sacrificing for me. I LOVE YOU ALL! :')

I also want to thank all of my relatives, titos, titas, cousins and my lola who prayed for me, day and night!! Nakulitan si God sa inyo, pinasa na Niya ako!!!!!!

I also want to thank my friends, SR: Jacqueline (bestie), Jannina, Christine, Kristine and PUGAKS: Louise, Marion and Mel and my college friends: Mara, Carlo, Maan, Denise, Fen, Chu and Bri, rlemates, classmates, batchmates, college professors, CI's, Dean and Asst. Dean, to the whole UST-CON. Thank you for being there for me/us. Thanks for all the encouragement and laughtrips na pampawala ng stress and pressure sa boards!!! Thank you all for praying for us, for imparting us the knowledge, skills and attitude we needed. THANK YOU PO!!!!!!

So to all boards passers including all my friends, classmates, college and high school batchmates, KUDOS!!!! We all did a great JOB!!!!! Ready to serve the world with our caring hearts, minds, hands, lahat lahat naaaa!!!!! THIS IS IT!!!!!!

P.S.#1 To Jess (special mention?), na ka-building and ka-merienda ko nung boards, naalala ko lang yung sinabi mo after natin mag-take nung test I ata or test II, sabi mo, "wala namang bumabagsak na UST-CON sa boards diba?" (yung tipong worried pero mayabang? wahahah) To you ateh, thank you lang ah sa confidence na binigay mo nung nagpapanic na ako!!! IKAW NA TALAGA!!! IDOL talaga kita!!! and to my RLEMATES, salamat sa mga feedbacks and last minute reviews and joketimes (in between) pag break time!!! tigas ng ulo pero I love you all!!!!!

P.S.#2: I would never have posted this entry kung di ko pa nabalikan tong entry na to:

"SOOOOOOOPER KADOOOOPER EMO POST ABOUT MY UST LIFE"

KALOKKKKAAA!!!! I LOVE UST!!!!! Goodbye college na talaga and HELLO WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and before I forget, Congrats to my beloved classmates, Bev Ong and Royce Ong (together with 16 other batchmates) for topping the boards!!!! KAYO NA TALAGA, ONG DYNASTY!!!!!! and UST na talaga! sorry mayabang ah, pero top 2 top performing school kasi eh!!! 468/469 test takers eh!! SORRY, minsan lang po magyabang, patawarin!!!!!!!! tomorrow, humble na ulit ako!!! PROMISE! :)))

:(

2011-08-16T10:55:00.000+08:00

bakit ba ang LOVE may kakambal na PAIN? SADNESS? AWAY at TAMPUHAN? sana lagi na lang masayaaaaaa...

sana hanggang first half lang text na to yung mafeel ko...:((((

malamang sa sobrang sama ko, ganito sabihin mo....

but still, i'm always hopeful na magiging okay pa rin in the end.....EMO shit kaasaaaarrrrr!

strawberry fields forever...

2011-08-12T20:56:00.002+08:00

I came across Kiana Valenciano's profile on twitter and saw her current background which is somehow similar to the strawberries in the movie "Across the Universe", which also happened to be one of my favorite movies/musicals of all time (big beatles fan here). So I looked for some shizz HERE and i found these! I was supposed to make gaya Kiana and make the first pic as my background pic on twitter kaso kakahiya eh! hahaha! follower ko siya? (conyo-conyohan ka na teh porket bum ka?) labo.

Anyway, this made me miss ACROSS THE UNIVERSE and made me sing Jai guru deva om (again and again and again), so now i got the LSSyndrome (which unfortunately can only be remedied by another song that'd get stuck in yerr head...), daming satsat..................

To make the long, pointless story short....I wanna look for that dvd of mine wherever the hell ONDOY took it and watch it again sometime...... I MISS THE PSYCHEDELIC, HIPPY VIBE of the movie. Go watch it and GET LSSed by BEATLES songs! You;ll love it for sure!! Plus, Jim Sturgess from the movie 21 and upcoming movie One Day is the lead star!!! AWESOMENESS!!!!

of love and loss...

2011-08-05T08:28:00.002+08:00

Today, as I had breakfast, I started checking out FB and Twitter (as usual), and sadly, I learned that the sister of one of my dearest college classmates, who also happened to be one of the happiest people I've met and whom I have been lucky enough to be friends with especially during our last year in college, lost her sister yesterday due to cerebral hemorrhage secondary to a ruptured aneurysm.

This classmate of ours texted us last Wednesday asking for prayers when her sister had an unexpected seizure attack which rendered her unconscious. A few hours later, she texted again telling us her sister was then already in comatose. My heart sank deep and immediately, I was at a loss for words. Her sister and I weren't friends but there was this heavy feeling in me that made me fall in deep thought for a while. Maybe because I knew that she was very young and I can always remember her as the girl whom like her sister had this really, really cute and sweet smile. Today, I also learned that close friends made this beautiful FB page for her. It was then that I realized how truly blessed her family is to have a beautiful girl like her who gained a lot of people who loved her. I know that her family will be touched knowing that at least their daughter lived a very beautiful life filled with love and happiness. So wherever she is right this very moment, I know that she still has that smile that even a very depressed and problematic person could not resist smiling back to.

And before I end this, I'd like myself and everyone else to realize that in every loss, there is also something we gain. We might not know the reason for these losses in life, but in time, with genuine acceptance, we learn that God has already had everything planned for all of us. It is our duty instead to know whatever it is that He has in store for us, what His purpose is for us because we are merely His instruments for a much greater plan beyond this mundane life we are all living.

And as everyone always says especially in times like these, LIFE IS SHORT and we all know what comes after that! God bless us all!

Millicent Pangilinan
joined Christ in paradise August 4, 2011

**Photo was taken from her FB page and apparently her last FB profile pic.

it's always been a dream of mine to....

2011-08-03T09:32:00.002+08:00

be a film maker... ever since I discovered the joy of editing videos back in high school. I made videos and gave it to friends as gifts for their birthday. I made our school trips more memorable by "immortalizing" them in videos. I made videos of special family gatherings and gave a copy to my relatives so they can relive these celebrations and enjoy them as much.

Then came college. My classmates and rlemates and even professors (i think) were also amazed by what I can do. I never used windows moviemaker so most of them were surprised to see a different set of effects, transitions etc, but mostly, I think they were amused by the wit and humor I like to put into those projects. As expected, I became the semi-permanent video editor for most of our projects all throughout college. There were times that I even had to direct the films myself! Hindi naman sa pagbubuhat ng bangko pero I could not deny the fact that I enjoyed watching those videos as well because I made sure that those did not only meet the objectives of the project, but also made people interested and amused.

True enough, I succeeded in creating those projects. I cannot explain the joy and fulfillment I felt when we watched those videos in class. When you hear people laughing hard, applauding, crying out a few "Yes namans" and "woohoos", you cannot ask for more, but thank God instead na natapos mong i-edit yun the night before. HAHA!

Though I said I did well and succeeded in doing all the dirty work, it doesn't necessarily mean that it was pure happiness that I felt while making those. I experienced not sleeping at all just to finish editing in time. I cried a lot and bargained for more time from God. I even had to absent myself from morning classes, onde day and had my parents bring me to school in time for the film showing (last period ata of that day). There was even a time when I had to talk to our professor because I literally was finishing a video on the class period when it was about to be shown. Those were the most anxiety-provoking, distressing and most horrifying days of my life, but I will never exchange those moments for anything much less because I learned a lot and to tell you again, I felt rewarded and fulfilled every single time. Of course, I wouldn't have learned moviemaking and photoshop if it weren't for my truly talented father, my idol (ibang entry ko na lang i f feature si itay! and other family members...).

After graduation, people will talk a lot about their plans and what's up ahead for them and sure there were some who wanted to try something different, something unrelated to the course we've taken. One of those was me. 4 years ago, I would've taken film making in UP but I chose a science-related course instead. I was being more practical and realistic than being idealistic. I was thinking that I would be more successful if I was a nurse than if I made indie films or if I followed in the footsteps of my father, being an artist. Since I wasn't as talented as my father, and since I passed the entrance exam and interview in UST for my first choice which was nursing, I considered it one of my dreams come true. No one really forced me to take up this course but myself and I'm glad I did because I learned a lot and I loved it even if most times I almost wanted to give up. So four years later, I found people who were having the same dilemma I have and I'm glad that I am not the only one who feels like doing a whole lot of other things in life other than the path we've chosen. I wanted to study again. I wanted to take up FINE ARTS and FILM MAKING in UP if time and my parents would forbid me to. I wanted to take Culinary classes and Creative Writing classes. I wanted to be a photographer, travel blogger, food blogger. I wanted to design my own clothes (inspired by the TV shows I watch), I wanted to go sky diving, bungee-jumping, surfing, wakeboarding, snow-boarding and a lot of other extreme sports. I wanted to jump off a cliff. I wanted to dive. I wanted to do all those things and I still want to and I know I can if only I'd give it a try. But as for now, I know what I have to do and I am not regretful of the decisions I made in the past. I love my life and I know someday, I will be able to do all of these.

OPS di pa tapos.... haha!! This morning, a college batchmate posted a link on FB and just reading the title and seeing familiar faces such as TADO, ERNING, RAMON, JUN and RA (whom I have been looking up to ever since STRANGEBREW days pa lang), I did not hesitate and watched it immediately. True enough, it was REALLLY ENTERTAINING but more importantly, very HELPFUL as well. Even though they made it look like a big joke, it wasn't because it was real and I know that these people are really geniuses when it comes to indie film making. This is why I wanted to take up FILM MAKING in UP SOOOO BAD, because I wanted to meet Ramon Bautista (BIG FAN OF STRANGEBREW and BREWRATS radio show) and because I wanted to learn more about this ART. I even wanted to make my own strangebrew back when I was younger! That's how inspired I was when watching that show. It seemed so pointless back then, but looking back, I realized that they were truly brilliant people. HANDS DOWN to all of them!

So here are RAMON, TADO, JUN, ERNING, RA and LOURD in WORD OF THE LOURD!! ENJOY and make sure you LEARN a lot!

hold on...

2011-08-03T08:05:00.000+08:00

if you feel like letting go...
HOLD ON, it gets better than you know...

Opportune time to hear this song....

BRUNO MARS!!!!

2011-07-08T09:14:00.001+08:00

Okay, ikaw na ang may magandang songs! Lahat na magandaaaa!!!!

feel good song of the day!!!!

emo song----:(((---> CAN RELATE?

another emo song??!?! dobol :(---ay pang-bitter palaaaaa.. sad!

this one i haven't heard yet... ambagal ng net eh hahaha...okay napakinggan ko na! maganda siyaaa LOVE IT!!

this one i heard over the radio... and got LSS-ed!!!---astig cover!!!

okay these songs i haven't really heard yet.... nakita ko lang milyon-milyon na naman ang views kaya rate ko na lang after.....

this should be good kasi mukhang wedding song...aaww rest of my life!

this last one must be really good kasi aandito si natashaaaa!!!

BRUNO MARS!!!!

and this one para maiba lang......dedicated to you know who (not voldemort!)

this last one... LSS ko lang these past days.....
sooper love! and gaya ng sabi ng isa kong kabarkada....
"so high school!"
SIMPLE PLAN!

Padre Pio

2011-06-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

The Last Mass of Padre Pio

LIFE UNEXPECTED....

2011-06-22T11:46:00.003+08:00

okay this would be my 3rd and LAST post for today, I promise!!!! This is all my brother's fault! He played NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US first, so I had to put it on my previous post because I really love the song and now I am blogging about it because it was played on one of my most favorite shows EVERRR (which got cancelled, unfortunately). So to relive the beauty of the best SCENE from the best EPISODE EVERRRR, I am posting it here!!!!

Someone on youtube commented on this video regarding the why the show got cancelled and I also had to put it here because it's true... It was made by:demoniosolitario

"This show was mainly cancelled mainly for its truthfulness about life. They touched many nerves week after week, and many Americans prefer to close their eyes to reality. Girl Pregnant at 16, Father Son issues, Unfaithful husband, White little lies to cover anything all the time, Teacher-student relationship. Cheating and cheating again and again... and so on... "

Don't you just agree? Why on earth would they cancel a show that everyone can relate to and that shows reality. I'm sure it had high ratings (or not), but still, I liked it! I downloaded the whole effing first season and I would never get tired of watching it. First thing on my things to do after BOARDS: WATCH LIFE UNEXPECTED!!!!!!

Anyway, here's the fave scene I'm gushing about and I know you'd love this too. Such a sweet broken, reunited family.... aaawwww :(

Here's my fave episode, btw:

A lot of funny scenes, not to mention KILIG scenes at the bed and breakfast
and one big heartwarming scene in the end!!! KUMPLETOS RECADOS!

I forgot, they had a second season pa pala before it got cancelled...:(
cute scene! BAZE AND CATE FOREVAAA!!

REBLOGGED!--warning soooper mushy!---100th POST!!!

2011-06-22T10:59:00.007+08:00

I found these on tumblr yesterday and I was soooper kilig (again!--masama na talaga tama ko!). Maybe I can relate reallly reallly well kaya kilig na naman ako! hahahha!

This first one, I reblogged from HER
She must have written this on her own (at hindi lang basta nireblog), but since I kinda agreed to what she said and I sort of, kind of, relate to what she felt (or probably still feeling now), eh mega REBLOG ang loka! hahaha

I even put smileys beside the statements that I can relate to the most. Unfortunately (or should I say, fortunately), I found the guy who's done (or currently doing) all these for me kaya tinamad na ako mag insert, resize ng smiley at naglagay na lang ng mega SMILEY beside the rest! hahahahha!

OOoOoPS! Sorry may name dropping na nagaganap kasi nareblog ko nga diba? hahahha!

This other one I reblogged from WE<3IT, as usual, mega hanap ng inspiring quotes and pictures!(especially when I'm feeling kindaaa sooper happy---kinda lang hahaha). :)))))))) - di obvious oh!

This picture, I also can relate to (BIGTIME!) because of the two words. FOREVER and BABY! Gets na yan! hahaha! I found this the pinaka-perfect picture out of all the pics I found yesterday because of:

1) The picture itself - I know I should be careful in writing things on this blog, pero since I can feel like we're getting close to making "it" known to everyone na din naman, might as well, write it here first (where you get the latest chika about meee!) hahaha! ARTE eh!

Well, the picture basically says it all. The last time we saw each other, we held hands (as much as I tried not to kasi takot ako sa PDA at sa sasabihin ng mga tao sa paligid! hahaha!), but in that special and magical (aysusuuuususus winarningan ko kayo sa TITLE sa taas remember??) moment, I felt like it's not so wrong after all. I realized that if you love someone, you shoudn't be ashamed or afraid to show how much you feel for them (well except na lang kung mega PDA to tha maxxxx). We both felt really good that night. Truly unforgettable!

off to #2....

2) FOREVER. I know I shouldn't really be saying too much pero here it goes (pa rin!) hahaha! I keep on saying "HAHA". Moving on.... One fine day (or night), we both promised that we'll be there for each other forever. Ewan ko ba, partly siguro because I was really happy talking to him that night, but mostly, I told him and promised him that because I really feel that he's the one for me (mushy level rising). I know (and I keep telling him too) that I shouldn't be promising things I can't keep, but I really, really would want him to be the one for me forever. haaaaaayyyyy... (mushy meter explodes!).

3) BABY. Lastly, Baby. Yes, we call each other baby and a whole lot of other crazy and funny pet names (joooskooo), but this one is what we most commonly use. He started it. He called me baby for dozing off in the middle of our phone conversation one night. He said I was mumbling incomprehensible words (if you can call those words)---yes almost like in a coma with a verbal score of 2 on the GCScale! hahaha! yehes! nakakasingit pa ng medical terms! haha! He used that term ever since! One friend even told me to ask him not to call me that ---well not until he becomes my bf... Haha, pero ngayon, I feel just as comfortable in calling him that! CRAZY, I KNOW! haaaayyyy again! Osha, I think I'm getting really lovesick again. I need to go back to my priorities na ulit....... :)

But before I go, here are the other pics I've hoarded from weheartit that I would really like to tell him right now na na na na.. haha!

I would like you to know that....

and

You should also know that...

Do you wanna know a secret?

Did you know that I am....

YES! That's true!

and aside from that I would really, really like

for you to know that...

and that

sooooo much that..

but even though we're far apart right now, know that....

and even though all I want to say right now is....

I won't worry and feel sad because....

I once told you that I don't want to be selfish... alala mo? hahaha

Sabi ko sayo selfish line to eh....

haha! and now,

even if it would take a looong time for us to see each other again...

know that....

TOTOO YAAAAN :))))

MUSHY METERRRR turns into dust..

(sumabog na nadurog paaa. haha!)

weh weh...

hahahaha! Pa-hug ahh!!

and let's both float on air....

effort!! pero in fairness, sakto yung pics na
nakuha ko...
di ganun kahirap gawan ng
ganito....

hahahaha!! I miss you!
and I would like to dedicate this to you!! ODIBA!!

Looking in your eyes I see a paradise
This world that Ive found
Is too good to be true
Standing here beside you
Want so much to give you
This love in my heart that Im feeling for you

Let em say were crazy, I dont care about that
Put your hand in my hand baby
Dont ever look back
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby we can make it if were heart to heart

Chorus:
And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
Well still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us, nothings gonna stop us now

Im so glad I found you
Im not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes I will stay here with you
Take it to the good times
See it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what Im gonna do

Let em say were crazy, what do they know
Put your arms around me baby
Dont ever let go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby we can make it if were heart to heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
Well still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us, nothings gonna stop us

Ooh, all that I need is you
All that I ever need
And all that I want to do
Is hold you forever, ever and ever, hey

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothings gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
Well still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us
Nothings gonna stop us, whoa
Nothings gonna stop us now, oh no

Hey baby, I know, hey baby, nothings gonna stop us
Hey baby, woo, nothing, hey baby
Nothings gonna stop us now yeah

P.S. after I published it, I found out that this is actually my 100th post! Really?? WOW!!! CELEBRATE!!!

UPDATED!

2011-06-22T09:52:00.002+08:00

I haven't been really updated on news and gossip lately (even though I feel like I'm always online and watching tv). All things I'm about to write about now, I only learned about just recently. My sister even asked where I was the past weeks when I told her how much weight Jennifer Hudson lost. Seriously? Am I that un-updated?

Well, anyway, this must have been brought about by my being busy studying and reviewing for boards lately. In less than two weeks from now, I'm gonna be taking the test that will dictate my future and retain my swag (like I got swag). However, with me still taking time checking up on what's hot and what's in, I'm not sure I'd still get that silly dream of mine of getting a slot on the top 10. I sure don't wanna get left behind during oath-taking when everyone else I know gets in, so I promise to go back to work after I post these....

So, where do you go when you feel like you've so much to catch up on in terms of celeb gossip and entertainment news etc? Well, you go to JUSTJARED. He gets the latest news on hollywood and posts them on his site. I also follow him on twitter so I get the tiniest bits of gossip from time to time. Earlier, I visited the site and as much as I've craved for it, I never really got so much juicy info on celebs that I haven't seen on YAHOO news first. We all know that MEGAN FOX-SPIELBERG-BAY issue, we know that she also went to the beach with her husband in a tiny, pink bikini. Well, what I didn't know aside from Jennifer Hudson getting a sexier bod nowadays is that IAN SOMERHOLDER AND NINA DOBREV are actually dating and Nina is 10 years younger than him, but still they look good together! hahhaha! Oh yes, my sister knows about this ever since I'm not sure when but still, she knows and I don't.

nina and ian <3

Then I also saw this on J's site. I would love to wear this outfit. So formal yet casual. I'm really liking the way Amanda carries herself and her outfits! Have you seen her on "Letters to Juliet"? Her stylist must have been really been an expert on casual yet elegant types of clothes!!

Lastly, if you've been regularly watching TV, you won't miss this show for sure. It's called the Glee project and it just aired here in the Philippines! Being a fan of Glee itself, it's no wonder If I'd get hooked to this (as much as I've been hooked to Pretty Little Liars1 and 2 just recently) too. Watch it! They're all very lovable and talented, you won't waste time seeing this every week!!

there's alex and mattheus and the other girl. hahaha

So far, I really like Alex (but I'm getting this feeling he'll soon turn out to be diva-ish) and this girl at the bottom. I haven't really heard her sing well, but I kinda just like her looks (hahaha! tomboy! hopefully she does get a little bit more interesting). Surprisingly, I also like MATTHEUS! He's the little guy who stole my heart when he sang (GIVES YOU HELL) for the creator of Glee when unfortunately, he got into the bottom 3 this week. I'm rooting for him too na rin! hahahahha!

So the latest episode featured this song that I really liked! I didn't know it before I heard it on TGP and now I soooper like it! Plus they got to wear these extremely amazing ROCKSTAR make up and costumes! Now, that's what you call WILD!!!!

Here's the video!!!!

CALIFORNIA KING BEEEEEEEEED

2011-06-10T16:41:00.000+08:00

I got LSS-ed, so I'd pass the syndrome to you!

That's enough blogging for me today!!! ADIEU!!!!

THE WEDDING GOWN

2011-06-10T16:39:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I was reblogging stuff about HARRY POTTER on tumblr and I suddenly remembered that wedding gown Fleur Delacour wore on her wedding! It looked AMAAAAZING on her. Well, an old faded shirt would have looked amazing on her too, but if you've seen the movie, you'd most probably be awestricken like me as well! At first I thought it was by Chanel, but it was by ALEXANDER MCQUEEN pala!!! SOOORRYYY!!!

And don't you just love the detail: twin birds or peacocks on the chest part? lovely!!!

I like how she looked like she had her back bared, pero may sheer cloth naman... HAAYY SHEER is soo USO!

-----photos courtesy of Tumblr!!!------

can't get enough of.....

2011-06-10T16:11:00.000+08:00

GLEE!

you just gotta love this scene! KILIG!!!!

POSITIVE ENERGY for everyone!

2011-06-10T15:50:00.002+08:00

Whenever you feel down or otherwise, words like these would definitely make you feel good or much better in a blink of an eye! No kidding! Sometimes, you just have to think that Life isn't all happy and perfect, but knowing that there are people who'd always be there for you no matter what should help you realize that life is worth living! And if ever you really have no one to run to, (don't feel sorry for yourself!) know that HE's just up there and all it takes is a simple prayer, actually, kahit casual "HI" lang to start with is enough (kung di ka pala -dasal, then try mo unti-unti magdasal, masasanay ka rin!). HAHA! Have a great Friday afternoon!

P.S. since it is Friday and it comes before Saturday, let us all celebrate!!
Celebrate what? wala lang, eh sa nabuhay ka eh at umabot ka sa....
FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

----photos courtesy of FUCKYEAHHAPPY!! --------

1. the person you like and why you like them

2011-06-10T14:53:00.003+08:00

I haven't really liked a person as much as I like this person I like right now. hahahaha! I don't think that made sense at all but you know what I mean. So I've been kind of going out with this same person for the past few weeks and I never imagined I'd feel this way for him. I've been writing about him a couple of times now and I think I've dropped the bomb (the name) before so I don't think I need to do it again. hahaha! chaka na pag okay na okay na! Anyway, I like him because of a lot of things, but mainly because he's exactly what I really want in a person, in a guy, in a friend, in a boyfriend whatever! hahaha. He does have some flaws (duh!), but I've learned to accept them (ahem!) and he knows it. Haha! He knows that I like him and I would never get tired of telling him that!

So to make things really clear (para lang alam na, kahit alam na niya to), and if ever he does find out about this, I'd like to say that I like him because:

He makes me feel soooo special ALL the time.
He never gets tired of saying that he likes and "loves" me.
He plays the guitar and sings like HELL! ay HEAVEN pala! ANGGALING LANG!
He's cute!!! and makulit! and machismax--ma showbizz like me!
He's befriending my friends and family (ows?) kahit takot siya! hahahha
He's a spoiled brat! hahahaha but even so, I still like him!
He's very kind, sincere, funny (sometimes), sweet (all the time), thoughful, galante!
He's God-fearing and very much a family oriented person!
at marami pang iba na sa amin na lang! hahahahhahaha!!!!

WRITE

2011-06-10T14:35:00.000+08:00

I know that writing is something that most of us learn at an early age and it shouldn't be as difficult once you get the hang of it. Sure! but sometimes, you just learn so much, or too much that your mind gets saturated to the point that you don't get to integrate everything as accurately and as easy as you used to when you were much younger. I am only 21 years old, but to tell you the truth, I feel like my head's going to explode with the things that I learn everyday. It's as if I cannot contain everything I learn anymore so even the most basic things such as writing a blog entry like this would take so much effort. Good thing I chanced upon this picture above where it just basically says that practice makes perfect and I know I may not be as good as most of you, hopefully by trying to practice everyday or at least every week, I get to improve myself BIGTIME, and who knows, maybe one day, I'd get published too! ASA!!! haha

So to start practicing, I thought I should do this list of things to write about. I saw this on TUMBLR as well and I thought, why not give it a try, right?

I do follow people, bloggers, writers online and to tell you the truth, they inspire me with the things that they share and they write about on their respective blogs. Take for example my good friend Jan (who's doing the challenge list for the past few days as well) who's so good at writing that somehow I feel like I can be like her as well. Blogging has been my hobby ever since gradeschool (when almost everyone at school did have one or two) and I could not thank those people enough for introducing me to the world of online journals. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have had interest in writing at all. So to those people, thank you sooooo much.... off to the first thing on the list......

reality bites......like a tiger! weh weh

2011-06-07T11:42:00.001+08:00

My friends Louise and Marion came over yesterday because they were kind enough to visit me at a time of great financial crisis, and since we haven't had time to see each other in a loooooooooong time. Lou came in a little bit after 2 in the afternoon while Marion had to finish a video so she came in a little later after Lou did. We had lunch here, Lou bought her own lunch from ministop (kakahiya i know, but i offered her rice naman ahaha and ulam from the night before).

So we had the usual, same old PUGAKS moments like before. The whole tawanang-parang-wala-nang-bukas-with-matching-talsikan-at-paluan never gets old. But since we've all graduated, shempre, there were a few changes in the topics of our conversations. Yehes, feeling mature na! hahaha! But to tell you honestly, I felt like we've really grown up na! Iba na talaga! Although I still feel ambivalent about the whole growing up thing since I can still see myself as an innocent, naive person despite my age, the things that I learned about people and stuff so I still feel quite uneasy about sensitive topics such as sex (ayan straightforward) and who did what and with whom. I

know people go around nowadays doing the act like it's not special or sacred anymore. I also know that I am not in the right position to go around and judge people. Who am I to speak against them , right? I might even share the same beliefs and values with them so I cannot blame them really (I'm not saying that I'll give in to temptation eventually, because honestly, I won't). After all, it's the act that we must hate and not the people themselves. Well, technically speaking, the act isn't wrong as well, it's the time and the reason for doing that that varies in people which makes it unacceptable for some, especially the Church. Anyway, I was just a bit overwhelmed by the things I learned about people, about a few batchmates specifically, but I shouldn't dwell on that coz it's none of my business.

We shouldn't have reached this topic if it wasn't for showbizz. Yep, that's right, I am blaming showbizz for this. We were talking about Angelica Panganiban and Derek Ramsey, even Vhong Navarro kasi. HAHA! Grabe, but kidding aside, that industry has destroyed many reputations, values, relationships and even families. If people are not careful enough, they'd drown in all that fame, money, sex, lies, drugs etc. that they'd reach that point where they won't recognize themselves anymore. All the things people do for fame, for the money! Sometimes it scares me that most of us are unaware of the bad things that go unnoticed because these same people only see or choose to see the good, glittery facade of life.

Oh yes, this is me, speaking. What the hell right? I am 21 years old and I still have got to learn a lot about the real world after all, it's where I am headed at. I should arm myself with wisdom, knowledge, strength, faith and values because these are the same things that would protect me and save me from the bad reality that I have yet to face. I just wish that I know myself well enough and that I have the strength to go through life without fear and uncertainty. So again, I ask God to bless me, all the people around me, my family, friends and loved ones, even the people I do not know. Bless us all Lord so that we may all face life with a much better perspective and see these problems and temptations as something that can be easily resisted and solved. Amen.

MMK

2011-05-25T08:48:00.002+08:00

I promised myself that I'd make this entry short, but sweet. Literally sweet coz it has something to do with love love love. I know I shouldn't be posting entries regarding my <3 life (coz the horror of someone from my family reading this is gaaaahh), But anyway, here it goes....

February, more or less, 3 months ago, on Valentine's day, to be more specific, this extremely shy guy went to school with a bouquet of red roses and a huuuge blue magic paper bag in hand. He was with his bestfriend and cousin (who also happened to be my rlemate) and was anxiously (sabi niya) waiting at the hallway near the med audi for, who else, but ME (kapaaal)! hahaha!

In all of my 21 years of existence, I have never had an admirer (well meron naman), not to mention a suitor, so how did "this" all of a sudden, happen now? Obviously I do not have the answer to that, but as far as I'm concerned, I am very much blessed to have someone like him in my life.

2 hours ago, I just got off the fone with him. We were talking since 12:30 in this morning, through 3:15 (scary time) up until 5 am! We just broke our own record of staying up all night, just talking to each other! Last time I spent talking to him for hours was last January, pa if I'm not mistaken (i'm sorry I'm not good with dates) and via twitter, then we had another long talk Monday afternoon when I got home from school (which was around 2pm?) until dinner time. Sure we always talk during the wee hours of the night (while everyone's asleep so as not to get caught), but this morning's conversation was so profound, so heartfelt, so touching and sooo kilig at the same time that I couldn't help but get giggly on my bed, throw whispers at him like a crazy in love beyonce (hahah corny tae). So HIGHSCHOOL! I know right?! but who cares? As long as we're both happy, none of whatever anyone says matter anymore (not unless sila papa or mama yung may sabihin!).

Anyway, I first met him through facebook. JOLOGS! i know, but it wasn't like the jologs, hey-can-we-be-friends-pohwzz type of acquaintance. It was more of like he greeted me on my birthday and made me listen to his own version of this song (can't take my eyes off you). Since he had a GREAT voice (i'm not exaggerating!), I literally fell down on my knees while listening to it in a public place full of dormers with my roommate! It was that GOOD!! And that's how it all began, late 2010! Then came valentine's day. Vday was a bit of a letdown since he merely looked at me, let alone talked to me so I didn't expect anything more after that. Then I read his greeting card which I didn't see and read until I got back to my dorm. Then I let everyone else read it. HAHAHAHA! obvious bang first time? I did not exactly know how to react. That night, he sent me a message on facebook apologizing for doing what he did. He thought that I was mad at him for giving me roses and a huuge heart pillow, but I told him I did not mind at all and thanked him instead.

Come 2 months later, he was already friends with my friends (via twitter and fb), and everyone else in school knows about him (which I don't exactly know why). Maybe I was someone whom everyone thought wouldn't ever blossom and have a lovelife of her own, then suddenly the world comes tumbling and you know what happens next. Yes? hahahaha

So here's the deal, I have been going out with him for a couple of times now and even though he only comes to school on dismissal time and we only get to spend soo little time with each other, we BOTH (yes both talaga) enjoy ourselves! And as the days go by, I just can't help but fall deeper in LIKE hahaha ayaw pa eh with him! So I really thank God and his cousin G for introducing me to him! He's such a sweet and very sentimental and very sincere and very God-fearing and family oriented type of person, plus he has an extremely adorable little cousin that I got to talk to last Monday! hahahaha!!! and Bonus na lang yung kanyang talent na nakaka-in LIKE hahahahha!! waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh Brianne! may name-dropping na nagaganap? hahahahha! AYAW ng BLIND ITEM! hahahha!!!

So to end this entry, I would like to make things clear : I am still not ready to say those three forbidden words. I wanna make sure that I can say it to him 100% and I want introduce him first to my inay and itay. So matagal pa yun ahahaha!! Goodluck!!!

Love, you're so distracting
Am I overreacting, For feeling this way
And ever, since I met ya, I can't keep my attention
And you are to blame

You're love's a permanent distraction, a perfect interaction
A feeling so extreme
I lost my appetite to eat, and I barely get to sleep
Cause you're even in my dreams
And I thought that I was strong but I knew that all along, this was out of my control
So I fell into your hands, and I don't know where we'll land,
I'm just going with the flow

Love, Love, Love, Love, Love

thanks for waiting!!!! :)))) hahahahha

BAD VIBES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPER!

2011-04-19T04:56:00.002+08:00

You know what sucks? it's having to come home, tired from the long commute from school and having that hunch that your parents argued again.... straightforward eh. OO dinederecho ko na, since pagpasok ko sa bahay, hindi ako kinulit ni mama. And to think that I have been having a bad day since dismissal time since I've been having these ill/paranoid thoughts again. Mejo nakakaasar lang na sobrang BV ko kahapon, so I just kinda slept through it after having dinner by myself. Gaaawwwd what's happening again? Dumagdag pa yung issue with bestfriend so I just had to take it out on twitter. So I made parinig--conyo? (but it wasn't meant for one person only kaya nga all I said was magsama-sama kayong lahat). Yehes, Those. Strong. Words. Too strong pa ata that got "some" people concerned *wink wink* and others affected. Thank God.

It's really hard for me to come to terms with frustration, with arguments, with sadness since I'm naturally a happy person. So I just feel like every sadness is a punishment or every sadness is there to balance things out especially if you've been sooo happy for a time (masyado kang masaya, magpaka-emo ka naman, tipong ganun). Maybe because I didn't pass by the church on the way home?? (but still, that's where I went to first thing in the morning like what I always do). Haaaaaaayyyy, na-feel ko tuloy na yung thing dito sa bahay eh dahil sa tinatamad si tooots na sumama sa family roadtrip kaya nagpapaka-badtrip na lang siya para di kami makasama? Shet sama... JOKE LANG!! I really want to go pero ever since Sunday (when mama told us the bad news) na feel ko na rin naman na baka nga di na matuloy. I was looking forward to this week (well siguro sabi ni God, this week is not a time for a family roadtrip, it's a season of sadness so heto na ang ultimate downer) since last last week pa ata. GGrrrrrRrrRr

To add to this, my bestfriend and I are going through a rift these past days or past week na ata. I think that somehow my parinig on twitter made her realize that I finally lost it. Had I not tweeted that, I don't think she would wanna talk to me or apologize man lang coz she's always like that. I know she's going through a lot of things too (and she explained everything to me when she texted last night, after reading my tweet I suppose) but she always makes me feel guilty of something I'm not even aware of. Ayoko pa naman yung bigla na lang nagagalit nang walang dahilan. Paano ako mag-s-sorry diba, eh hindi ko man lang alam yung dahilan. But I should talk to her soon, maybe later....

Lastly, I just found out ~~something~~....scratch that---a lot of things pala about certain people whom I thought are good people (good people naman sila, kaya nga nung may something lang silang nagawa, it made me think, sila ba talaga yun? nagawa nila yun?), but don't take this the wrong way. I am not in the right position to judge or to rant about them since I don't know the whole story (and I know that they're good people talaga haha), but it made me think twice about a lot of things, even this "thing" that's been making me giddy and happy for a few months now. I know that they do have their reasons for doing what they did, and I understand that. What I cannot accept is the way they did it. Pero may tama bang paraan pano gawin yun? siguro meron pero di ko alam kung paano. Anyway, I am not, in any way involved in this issue (nakikisali pa kasi), napaisip lang ako (being paranoid with trust issues) baka may chance na mangyari rin sa akin yung nangyari dun sa taong kakilala ko (which is scary, btw). I know I'm being too safe in writing about this issue hahahah takot. hindi ko na nga maintindihan yung pinagsasabi ko. LONG STORY SHORT: I'm afraid of a lot of things and i'ts making me think of even more scarier things...a lot of what if's and what nots. It's making me doubt the things I thought were real (di ko na alam paniniwalaan ko). Masama na kung masama pero paano kung nang-t-trip lang pala yung mga tao? Paano rin pala kung hindi man sila nang-t-trip, pero one wrong move ko lang gawan na nila ako ng masama? I'm not perfect. I'm not even close to being half the person who's close to perfect kaya pano kung may magawa lang akong isang maling bagay? SHUUUCKKKSS paranoid!

Anway, my bestfriend and I are not in good terms right now, so I cannot share this to anyone but you, my beloved blog..... kausapin ba daw? anyway..... at least I was able to take it out kahit papanoooo...

It's almost 5am! Gotta prep for review class again!!! YES KELANGAN GANYAN KA-ENTHUSIASTIC! I'm looking forward to a much better day so I need this POSITIVITY! God bless us all! Have a great day! :) --> yep, that's a smiley my friends! Nag-s-smiley na ako ngayon! :) :P XD

CRAZIER THINGS have happened....

2011-04-15T11:46:00.003+08:00

I know I have been busy with a lot of things so I haven't had time for any updates... and I also know that I'm supposed to study today and to get into serious mode (I promise to, after I post this hahahhaa!), pero this made me so giddy and I'd want to answer this someday! LANDI! hahaha!

Anyway, before this entry gets any longer, I'd share it to you nah! I found this on candymag and I'm posting it here coz I can relate (a little bit) hahahhaha! Disclaimer: This post does not belong to me. Natuwa lang ako coz of all the people who made a post under this thread/who answered this survey (?), siya yung pinakamagaling sumagot at pinaka-nakarelate ako! hahahha!! Yun lang!

and shempre kelangan may kanta para
mas ma feel nyo yung pagbasa!
wahhahahahha... thanks to B for letting
me listen to this. on repeat mode!

DISCLAIMER (partII): Created by: untamed77angel

- Saan kayo unang nagkakilala o paano kayo naging magkakilala?
We have a common friend who introduced us to each other when we attended his birthday party.

- Ano ang una niyong ginawa or naging situation bago maging kayo? Meaning to say sa pagkakaibigan niyo bakit kayong dalawa mismo ang close sa bawat isa?
We easily became comfortable with each other even at our first meeting because he's really a nice guy and knows how to carry a conversation well. Then, we became frequent text mates for a few months before we went out on our first date.

- Niligawan ka ba o hindi? At Bakit?
We didn't actually went through the usual stage of ligaw. Our relationship was kind of Westernized in a way, from casual dates to exclusively dating.

- Paano kayo nagkadevelopan?
It started whem he told me he likes me on our fourth date (we were still dating other people that time) and asked if we could date each other exclusively.

- Paano niyo rin naipahiwatig na may nararamdaman nga kayo sa bawat isa?
I express my feelings for him through letters. I write short essays and poems for him and deliver it the traditional way -- yes, by mail. But I took him by surprise one time when I made the first move of holding his hand (he knows that I'm not a huge fan of PDAs), he was totally grinning like loony all day.

He, on the other hand, shows his affection through actions a lot. He loves tracing the lines of my palms and making imaginary doodles on it.

- Paano mo nasigurado na may nararamdaman kayong pagmamahalan sa bawat isa?
He makes me feel secure with the relationship we have. It's intimate, but not tightly gripped nor loose.

- Ano ang nagustuhan mo sa kanya?
His fidelity.

- Ano naman ang nagustuhan niya sayo?
My tactless, straightforward personality. Haha.

- Ano ang preferences mo sa pagkakaroon ng minamahal?
Intellect, humor, and sense of security.

- Siya ba ang taong hinahanap hanap niyo? Natupad ba ang preferences mo na gusto mo pag nagkaroon ka ng minamahal? At Bakit?
My friends coined my guy as "the marrying-type" because he fits our self-made checklist of the guy we want to marry someday.

- Kelan officially naging kayo at bakit yun ang date and month na napili niyo? Ano ang ibig sabihin ng numero para sa inyong dalawa?
We can't exactly remember when we actually became a couple so he chose February 14 instead. He said it'll be sweet to celebrate our anniversary in line with the V-day; I said it was cheesy. LOL.

- Ilang months na kayo?
We'll be celebrating our 11th month-anniversary on January 14th.

- Nagcecelebrate ba kayo ng inyong monthsary? at bakit?
We 'celebrate' our month-anniversary in a different sense of the word. We don't prepare special dinner or gifts for each other, rather we just make sure that we see each other that day even if we're really busy. Even an hour will do, as long as we get to say our greetings personally.

- Pinakilala mo na ba siya sa iyong mga magulang, pamilya at kamag-anak? Pati sa mga kaibigan? Kung OO ano ang kanilang naging reaction para sa partner mo? Kung hindi pa pinapakilala bakit naman?
My dad, my grandmother, some of my relatives and my best friends since elementary have already met him when he visited my province. My dad wasn't saying anything about him until my boyfriend had already left and said these exact words: "Mabait, gwapo. I like him for you, anak. Sige, magpakasal na kayo." Of course he was just joking about the last part. Haha.

He still hasn't met my mom because she's working abroad. I plan to introduce him when she flies home in time for my graduation.

- Pinakilala ka na rin ba niya sa mga magulang, pamilya at kamag-anak? Pati sa mga kaibigan mo? Kung OO ano ang naging reaction nila sayo nung makita ka or something like ano ang nasabi na nila about you? Pero kung hindi pa bakit naman?
I met his parents when we attended the mass together. He actually didn't tell me that his parents would be there because he knew I wouldn't come because I'll definitely shy away.

They were really nice during our first rendezvous. They even said that I was the first girl their son has ever introduced to them. Aww.

- Bukod sa isang minamahal ano pa ang trato mo sa kanya at bakit? Kaibigan/bestfriend, alaga, magulang, kapatid o kung ano pa?
I treat him as my best friend (I'm not afraid to tell him my thoughts and my embarrassing moments) and like an older brother (I respect him).

- Naging open minded ka ba sa kanya sa lahat ng bagay? yung tipong lahat ng sikreto mo alam niya?
Of course keeping secrets to each other is not new in a relationship. Even though we promised to keep an open relationship, we respect each other's personal boundaries.

- Ano ang madalas niyong alitan? Paano niyo ito naisesettle or paano kayo nagsesettle? May araw ba na nagkakatampuhan kayo? Yung tipong hindi kayo mag-uusap ng matagal tapos darating rin ang oras na magbabati rin kayo?
We hardly argue actually, and mostly I'm the one losing it first. LOL. I can give him the silent treatment for days, but he can't stand it. He'll apologize throughharana and singing John Mayer's songs or delivering uber corny jokes, which will surely crack me up and we'll make up even before the day ends.

- Hanggang ngayon ba nararamdaman niyo rin na in love pa rin kayo sa kanya?
Yes. Every single second of every day.

- Kahit matagal na kayong magkasama nagliligawan pa rin ba kayo?
He likes leaving hidden notes in my stuff. Magugulat na lang ako kapag bubuksan ko 'yung book ko or case file may note s'ya saying: "Take care of yourself", "I miss you already", and, my personal favorite, "I love you more today than yesterday".

« Last Edit: January 12, 2009, 01:23:15 pm by untamed77angel »

feeling much better...

2011-03-23T12:07:00.000+08:00

joy, peace, love, faith and hope!!!

Disclaimer: all photos were taken from weheartit and tumblr!!!

BUMness chuvaness and cheverly

2011-03-22T17:05:00.001+08:00

Obviously, not being able to log on to fb and twitter makes the mind a bit idle, so to compensate for whatever I am missing or not missing, I blog and reblog (tumblr)!

So here are a few random shots I took with my new fone... so parang sira lang talaga.

ma and pa at tropical hut 03/19/11

creepy sala

okay fine, di na siya creepy... angganda eh

vain vain vain

super moon pero angliit!

horrooooorr!!

my bed!!!

what's magulo?!??!!?

spooky unfinished staircase!!

HIPHOP ABS habang nakaupo? liliit ba abs ko nang nakahiga? hahaha!

IN FAIR VERONA!!!

2011-03-22T14:11:00.003+08:00

Earlier, I said that I've become my family's semi-permanent maid, but not to make it official or anything, I just whipped up what I think may be the best masterpieces I've ever created in my whole life! For two days in a row, I have actually perfected two dishes (as in aprub sa aking sibs and hopefully kay papa, i haven't checked yet): BEEF and Mushroom with gravy and BABY BACK RIBS!

beef, mushroom and gravy

beef and mushroom rice topping!

the perfect gravy!!

beef and mushroom again!

with butter!!

ribs broiling!

juicy!!!

the marinade with tarragon bits!

the yummy finished product!

Hindi naman sa nagyayabang pero in all the years that I have been cooking (yehes, matagal na? haha), never have I cooked anything as sumptuous and mouth-watering (and to think that I haven't cooked in a while because I was too busy in school and all).

Story behind Beef and Mushroom:

Back in high school, we loved these rice meals sold at our canteen. My personal favorite was their Beef and Mushroom with gravy and butter! I know I've tried this recipe a few times but I have never perfected the gravy! For some reason, the gravy always tasted too bland no matter how many seasonings I add into it, but last night, I don't really know what has gotten into me, but it tasted like heaven! weh! HAHAHHA EXAGG! as if I've ever been there. I cannot describe how I felt perfecting the thing (siguro dahil effective nga na isama mo yung tapa meat juice na natira dun sa frying pan). Then I added milk, cornstarch and voila! We have a very tasty gravy!!

Story behind Baby Back Ribs:

This one I cannot really believe I cooked. My mom makes this, but I should say that mine tasted better! hahaha!! PEACE MAMA! So I took out this frozen meat from the freezer and not knowing what exactly it was, I let it thaw while I watched Doraemon and downloaded apps for my fone (which was addicting btw). When I found out that the meat was actually pork RIBS, I had this idea of making baby back ribs! So I looked up a few recipes on the internet (btw, I didn't know that baby back ribs was just meat slathered with BBQ sauce! I thought that there was some secret sauce or something, MEGANON?). Unfortunately, we didn't have BBQ sauce here so I looked for an alternative. Then I found this recipe with ingredients that I can manage to substitute with whatever stuff we have here at home.

So the recipe says to make a marinade out of: Worcestershire sauce, onions, mustard, ketchup, brown sugar etc...

The dilemma: I didn't have any of those, so I made a marinade out of the following instead: Ketchup, white sugar, good ol' soy sauce, osyter sauce, tarragon and cayenne pepper (the beef and mushroom I cooked last night was ~~a bit~~ sooooo spicy so I didn't add as much cayenne pepper this time!)

I boiled the meat before marinading in the improvised sauce and put it into the turbo broiler! And about 25 minutes later, we now have the BEST TASTING-made-by-an-amateur BABY BACK RIBS!! In fair Verona (in fairness!), this tasted deliciouso!! How I wish I could cook this again another time and not be just a one-time-bigtime chamba!

So there you go, I still have laundry to do so adieu!!! Have a great day!

YAYA DUTIES!

2011-03-22T10:42:00.003+08:00

So last night, I was busy cooking dinner that I didn't feel the quake at all, though both my brother and sister did. Apparently, I had to attend to some yaya duties and apparently, I'm gonna be the maid for this week since manang hasn't come home yet (see previous entries). So far, I've been doing the same yaya duties like cleaning the house and washing the dishes like I do on regular weekends, however, since I am now on a week's vacation from school, and since everyone else has to go to work or to school, I "had" to take responsibility of becoming the "taong bahay" and the semi-permanent house maid. So aside from sweeping and mopping the house clean, washing the dishes, cooking lunch and dinner, I also had to take on a few more chores (which aren't easy at all): doing the freakin' family laundry and if I'd allow myself to (allow myself, echosera!), do the ironing as well. All I wanted was to be a bum for a week, but look what I got? I just wanna do nothing at all and stay in bed all day, but why did you have to give me chores to attend to? Oh well, what choice do I have right? Having already stated the obvious, I guess I just have to work my ass off. Plus, I got a little something something so maybe that means I had to at least pay for whatever that is by not bumming around... labo

Silver lining: Maybe this could take my mind off things that are bugging me lately.
Plus, silver lining #2: Doing chores can also help me tone a few muscles here and there... workout ba.. odiba, hitting two birds with one stone!

NEVER GONNA LEAVE THIS BED...

2011-03-21T09:16:00.002+08:00

I've always liked maroon5 ever since they came out back in....I cannot remember when... and

I can honestly say that aside from Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On", "Sunday Morning" is what I play and sing best with the guitar (thanks to Adam Levine's naturally high-pitched voice--di na kelangan i-adjust for female singers----YEHES? SONGER KA TEH?) ahh basta.... reach na reach ang voice.. and wow pala avril lavigne, adam levine!!! NOICE!!!

And this song just has this feel good vibe, plus I found the acoustic version to this song (well, kat found it, and I made gaya and downloaded it too)... DOUBLE SOOPER FEEL GOOD VIBE! Promise, listen to the acoustic version and it definitely won't make you leave yerr bed!!

PERO YOWN! SOOPER LOVE this song! Diba? Don't you just love it?
P.S. panget pa ata yung chords sa UG! must look for good chords!! Must learn how to play this!

You push me, I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you
So take me down
Take me down

You hurt me, but do I deserve this
You make me so nervous
Calm me down
Calm me down

Chorus
Wake you up in the middle of the night to say,
I will never walk away again
I never gonna leave this bed

So come here and never leave this place
Perfection of your face
Slows me down
Slows me down
So fall down I need you to trust me
Go easy, don't rush me

http://www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com/

Help me out why don't you help me out

Chorus
Wake you up in the middle of the night to say,
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
Oh anekatips so you say go
It isn't worth it and I say no
It isn't perfect so I stay and still
I'm never gonna leave this bed

Bridge
Take it, take it all take all that I have
I'd give it all away just to get you back
And fake it, fake it I'll take what I can get
Knocking so loud, can you hear me yet?
Try to stay awake but you can't forget

Wake you up in the middle of the night to say,
I will never walk away again
I never gonna leave this bed
You say go
It isn't worth it and I say no
It isn't perfect so I stay and still
I'm never gonna leave this bed uuuuuh

Take it, take it all take all that I have
(repeat)

CLEARED...reblogged from tumblr SATURDAY (03/19/11)

2011-03-21T08:53:00.013+08:00

YAHOO!!! I finally got cleared today, together with rlemates mara, cor and jomi and rle 3 maan, pat-o, thea, jam, rle 4 gege, ina-f, milcah, jogie, ging, gianne, donna, carlo, with the special participation of kim ong and fen! hahaha! I had fun as usual! I really thank God for this day and for the past 2 weeks of clearance days because I got to know a lot of my batchmates (kahit papano) and I got to bond with most of my classmates! sabi ko na kahit mga ganitong moments, i-t-treasure ko, ganun ako kasentimental! I LOVE THIS DAY kahit na shu-shunga shunga na bumangga sa poste habang nagbabasa ng varsitarian at may malaki akong pasa sa tuhod ngayon! I REALLY THANK YOU GOD for giving me my parents, my siblings, family, relatives, friends, classmates, rlemates, manang (yehes!) and everyone!! ang drama ko pero i wouldn’t have done this without them all! so thank you!

I AM NOW READY TO GRADUATE!!! PICC, here I COME!

things we forget...

2011-03-21T08:21:00.003+08:00

1. We forget to thank people who do good deeds, small enough to go unnoticeable sometimes!
2. We often forget to say thank you to God for even the smallest blessings we get from Him.
3. We forget how short life is and we take for granted a lot of people, opportunities and moments we know we are gonna regret eventually.
4. We forget to pray.

Last night, we just got bad news from our househelp, a really serious one. It was regarding her son who got into a car accident and ended up in an ICU with his foot amputated. It saddened me tremendously because manang, despite her "sometimes" irritating work habits, still is family to me. I know I get too maldita to almost all of our househelps but I never go too far (well, except for ate Dina, but we made up in the end and we're all still friends up until now). I also know how we might not have treated Kuhrin (manang's granddaughter) the best way we should have treated her during her last days here at home, pero we tried to befriend her, to play with her, to take care of her, plus, we gave her a lot of toys and gifts. We just didn't want her to stay all her life here since she has a family she needs to come home to, and she's gotten a little bratty (but that's another story). So to cut to the point, I just want to say that I am truly sorry for manang. She doesn't deserve this. No one does. It just makes me feel a little guilty that I should have been a better alaga (which I did try to because my sister has gotten a little short-tempered and maldita too like me especially to manang, so I tried to compensate for that by being sweeter to her, which I guess still wasn't enough), but I did not because of my attitude (sometimes), pero I know I did try to reach out to her especially kung dalawa lang kami minsan sa bahay. So now, I just want to pray for her son's fast recovery since like what mama said last night, Kuhrin is just 4 years old and she's the eldest of 3 children. It would've been a big tragedy if she loses her father, so trying to think positively, I want to ask God to take care of their family (like I always do) and to give them anything they cannot really handle. They can make it through this. I know they will!

So to go back to my list of things we forget up there, I know as busy bees we are most of the time, we should still spare even a few minutes of our days praying to God (not only for ourselves but for the whole world as well, knowing that anything might happen nowadays), thanking Him for every single blessing we receive and living our lives to the fullest. As I have said in one of my entries, we should always be prepared, and one way to be just like that is to feed our soul with goodness and to do good to everyone as much as we can!

P.S. hindi sa nagbubuhat ng sariling bangko/upuan, pero I am 95% sure that I am not guilty of #'s 1, 2 and 4 on my list up there coz I have always been thankful and prayerful to God (and I pray for the whole world and the souls in purgatory), so I hope that you be too! And as for #3, I should try to work on that a little bit more!

So to end this entry, as usual, I will leave some of these thoughts for you to ponder on.... Some are a bit too shallow, but you get the picture, get the picture, literally! hahahha (images from weheartit!)

and P.S. #2, Speak of the things we should be thankful to God for, I do wanna thank God again (and papa and mama for buying and sacrificing their new fones and giving them to us instead----what great parents we have! thank God for that too!)

thank you for our new fones! If before, big deal na na lahat tayo naka-colored nokia fones, mas big deal na lahat tayo ay naka touch screen na (kahit na as usual, the best fone goes to JUS pa rin with his galaxy mini, but still) You see, it's wifi ready and we can tweet, watch youtube vids and check up on our fb friends!! SOBRANG THANK YOU PAPA AND MAMA! If you get to read this, I promise to buy you all the gadgets you want when I get a job, you techie parents, you!! Imma buy you soooper high tech gadgets na ala-starwars high tech na! hahaha! someday! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! and I LOVE YOU LORD!

And This just in, I pray for my family and relatives. I just learned last night that there might be a little bit of a something something again, so God please bless them!! Bless us all please! We are still all good people!

and I would also like to leave this beautiful song (which I discovered years na ata, ago, pero kahapon ko lang nalaman kung sino kumanta and all, THANKS TO KAT -->as usual!)

It makes me think that there's still hope for all of us, when we look up to the sky!

Train - When I Look To The Sky by huntylch

things i discovered about myself today...

2011-03-21T00:35:00.002+08:00

1. I am extremely selosa pero I keep it inside. I won't let anyone know that I am, in fact jealous! I easily become envious (coz I'm possessive when it comes to friends, family, to newly discovered songs to movies, style icons and the like), but like I said, I won't tell anyone!

2. I can be angry at one point (and I usually practice what I wanna say to the person I'm mad at pero hanggang dun lang yun. Tinatarayan ko siya sa utak ko. Sana lang marinig niya! hahaha), pero after the mind monologue, I usually go back to my non-angry state.

3. I can control my vices/addictions!

4. I am a true friend.

5. I can sacrifice a lot for my family and friends, even the things that I want the most!

6. I like listening to rock/rap/hiphop music when angry.

bakit puro tungkol sa anger? galit ka teh?

yun lang pohwz! Shet may masabi lang! I cannot sleep! I had my "pilit" afternoon nap earlier today so ngayon gising na gising. Might do the long overdue marathon of it started with a kiss 2. long overdue kung long! antagal na nito, inaamag na siya! adieu guys!

BACKFIRE...

2011-03-15T13:38:00.001+08:00

I might really be just overthinking/overanalyzing things but you can't blame me if the thought that I can't truly be happy without getting depressed in the end keeps popping in my head. I might just be worrying too much pero it's what happens to me all the time. It's not that I plan on getting depressed by the end of the day just to make sure my theory's foolproof because I don't. At first I thought that it might just be a coincidence that my being too happy should be counteracted by a lot of worrying/crying after. That's what I thought, but after having experienced it several times, I can't help but think, maybe it's not coincidental after all, maybe it's the law of balance (if that's what it's called), of yin and yang, of black and white. Everything has to be balanced out, whether good or bad.

And talagang hinanap ang definition ng LAW OF BALANCE eh. This struck me the most:

"If the pendulum swings too far one way, it will inevitably swing back the other way."

Does this have something to do with KARMA?

To tell you honestly, this theory of mine is getting on my nerves already. It's crossed the line (it's way, way past the line, actually) and now, I am getting really frustr ated that sometimes, I think I have to force myself not to become too happy because as expected, something bad will come along to take that happiness away. The bad thing is, most of the time, I can't really help but be happppy! Bakit ba? Eh sa I'm naturally a very cheerful person that it's such a big feat for me to suppress a laugh or a giggle even at a tiniest, corniest joke. I cannot let a day pass without smiling or laughing coz I'm surrounded by all too funny people. I cannot just NOT react at the kwentos or chikas people share just because I'm too afraid that soon after, it'll all be over anyway, and something bad shall take over. I can't have that mentality (even if I already do have it already), can't I? That's a bit pessimistic, in a way. I know I'm just babbling nonsense and I might not even have a point here, but all I really wanna say is that I wanna be truly happy without having to worry about a catch in the end! ALAMO YUN? Yung walang kapalit. Minsan kapag out of control na yung tawanan namin ng friends ko, may magsasabi "uuy tama na, baka umiyak na naman tayo mamaya..." Kita mo yung mindset na ganun? Can't we just ALL be happy now and forever and ever, and ever, and ever and ever?

Anywhooo, I'm getting a bit sleepy coz I was in school since 7 this morning (bakit di ba ganun on normal school days?), plus I just ate lunch so I kinda doze off every once in a while as we speak. Anway, I'll probably catch up on the much needed sleep habang may fan pa sa room! Please Lord, take all my worries away!

P.S. yesterday, we already got our togas so time for picture picture naaa! plus, today, I got my DR/NURSERY prc forms re-checked and re-signed, completed my OR cases and had my scrub folder signed as well! So all I need to prepare for is revalida on friday! THANK YOU LORD!!! I love you! Malakas talaga ako sayo! HAPPINESS!

HAPPINESS!!!

2011-03-14T20:38:00.004+08:00

I wasn't as ecstatic to go to school today because of my unfinished business(es) and unsigned clearance forms, but to my surprise, I was able to find the remaining professors who haven't signed my precious GREENBOOK yet! FINALLY! YAHOO! I am so happy that I am getting to my goal, one step at a time.

Although, I kind of felt bad after lunch when I learned that I had the WRONG format for my PRC forms and I already had them signed by our clearance officer/professor! So frustrating dahil umasa akong nakaka-andar na ako! Now I'm gonna have them reprinted for the nth time tomorrow! Konti na lang marrrsss!

here with Dean Vargas and Fr. Regent Factora, photo
courtesy of ma'am Arroco (panakaw po ma'am!) hehe!

Anyway, I still had a great time today, bonding with my classmates (take note, not the people I usually hang out with on a normal day). I had lunch with my bestie Niks at jollibee asturias, laughing our heads off before we headed back to my dorm coz I had to attend to an emergency evacuation (if you know what I mean!). By 1 pm, we were already back at school and attended the recognition day for graduating students and faculty awardees! Mara, Peri and I went up onstage as well as 47 other thesis groups accepted by prestigious research institutes worldwide. Ours was accepted in Luxembourg, Germany btw! By 6pm, we were falling in line for FREE FOOD! YahoOOoo! I wasn't with my rlemates today but I still had fun nonetheless! I love my classmates really, and I am gonna miss them all bigtime! Thank God for them! Honestly, this class has got to be the best class I've ever been in ever since preschool! I know High school days would forever remain in my heart as the most exciting and memorable days of my life, but I cannot explain how ELATED/ECSTATIC I feel whenever I'm with them. It feels like, at the age of 21, I can say that I've regressed and matured at the same time, thanks to them! Odiba? I cannot put into words the craze and happiness I experience in school everyday, which is mostly why I was probably able to get through the hard times!

So I will end this post with the hope that more or less, in the last 2 months that we'll be together as a class, I would be able to build a much deeper, but still fun relationship with each one of them (hopefully!) and that I would be able to pass revalida and clearance this week and graduate and top the board exams! Tulad nga ng sabi ni Royce sa kanyang farewell speech kanina, nothing's impossible, sure they may be very difficult but not impossible! and quoting ate 3rd place sa previous batch, AIM FOR 100% Thomasian Nurses! We can do this, I know so! God bless us all!

btw, I got my toga today! Pictures to follow!!!!

omygaawd shoes!

2011-03-13T21:14:00.000+08:00

I am a big fan of shoes, however due to my better taste for food than for shoes, I hardly get to save money for shopping which brings me to this dilemma I'm about to share to you guys.

DILEMMA: I only have 2 pairs of black flats for school, a pair of really dirty flats for weekend gimiks, 2 pairs of sneakers and a few pairs of strappy sandals. yun lang. Compared to my father and sister, nakakahiya sa konti ng shoes ko! My friends from school even notice how I only have this same pair of flats everytime we have events at school wherein we need not be in uniform.

So today, after hearing mass with my lovable, lovely, loving family, we went on an unplanned shoe shopping spree! Di naman masyadong masaya ang lola niyo dahil I bought 2 pairs of pretty, candy-colored flats! SOOOPER YUMMY to the eyes! haha! SO to make the long story short, I haven't really given myself the luxury to buy these many shoes in a longtime. Most of my clothes, or most of my stuff rather would take years before I could replace them. I'm the type of person to really make the most out of something (that didn't sound exactly right). Sabihin na nating, I would not buy myself something new unless the things I use are worn out to the highest level!! As in, kelangan burado na yung design nung shirt or kelangan tanggal na yung soles nung shoes bago pa ako makabili ng bago. Actually, my father used to be like that too pero during the past few years, he had this fetishism for shoes. Ewan ko ba! hahaha!

PHEW! that was long for a long story made short! anyway, I just bought these really nice pairs of flats for gimik days! And I must say, mararamdaman din nila ang naramdaman ng previous pairs of shoes ko! Ayaw nila yun? gamit na gamit! If we'd be wearing civilian clothes this summer (for review), I really do think I'd be using these over and over until their soles have come off already! What a sight! Ayoko muna i-predict hahahha! baka matakot sila bigla, magsilayas! hahaha!

SO here are my new pairs of shoes. the third pair is my sister's btw!

omygawd shoes shempre kelangan may themesong:

thank God, mama, papa for these! I know I've said this already on my tumblr account, but I'm gonna say it again: manglilibre rin ako ng lahat ng gusto niyo once magkatrabaho kami! THANK YOU! MWAH!!

P.S. Tonight, before you guys go to bed, please pray for Japan and for the rest of the world. Time may be running out, so always be prepared, physically, mentally, emotionally and most expecially, spiritually! God bless us all!

i tweeted....

2011-03-07T19:35:00.002+08:00

"not so sure kung ano pang meron sa school this week. clearance starts on march 12 pa? wth? so i guess shopping at divi with roomies, classmates, dinnar at morato with roomies, gala with highschool barkada... ECHOS! kala andaming pera! hahahahha!!!"

and I posted on FB:

"anong meron this week?? divi with Ina Kristina Pangan, Caryn Keng Seng? gala with SR? Jacqueline Larin Jan Quilatan Cruz Kristine Marie Jucaban Christine de los Reyes, dinnar at morato with roomies Angela Gochangco Anne Franchesca Beza and caks? Kala pala andaming peyra?"

So seriously, what exactly will happen this week? Last thing I heard clearance will start on March 12 1-6pm. What the *$&p;*$ does that mean exactly? Isn't that a Saturday? Ooops Yes, that is a Saturday. I checked! So that means that I'll most probably be out with friends this week, then be back to school on Saturday for clearance. Why do they have to make our lives so hard? JOKE! Sorry feel ko lang maging melodramatic. I'm about to graduate na kasi and like most graduates, hindi ka pwedeng basta-basta na lang makalampas sa unibersidad mong minamahal nang hindi ka halos mamatay sa hirap! Lahat ng bagay, para maramdaman ang tamis ng tagumpay, kelangan pinaghihirapan! ANO NA NAMAN DAW? hahaha!

Anyway, I saw Nikki's post on FB just a few minutes ago, her dad approached her daw while watching tv and asked her "why so chill anak? Diba may boards pa kayo?" Well something like that. hahahaha! and natawa lang ako! ANO BA YAN? Is this true though? Ga-graduate na ba talaga kami? MARCH na and on the 30th, we will all be walking with our head held high on that stage and we'll finally get to say "#%%#^#%^!! pinahirapan niyo kami!" HAHAHA! Kidding aside though, I would miss being toxic and being busy on school stuff all the time! For the last three days, I stayed here at home and all I did was wash the dishes, mop and sweep the whole HOUSE, give a whole body massage to mama and all that stuff! In short, ginawa nila akong katulong! Training ko raw since wala naman kaming makukuha na trabaho after grad and well, because may exams si Kat at hindi naghuhugas ng pinggan si Jus. Haaaay, last night, I promised myself to do all my pending paperworks today, pero anong ginawa ko? Bumangon ng 5:30am, natulog, gumising ulit ng 8am, nag-init ng breakfast, nagbanlaw ng damit at nagsampay, naglaba ng bags, nagwalis and nag-mop ng bahay all because antagal umuwi ni manang! ahhaha! Grabe, I'm really getting the hang of this. Mag-DH na lang kaya ako sa Taiwan? hahaha!

REALITY SUCKS bigtime and it hasn't sunk in yet, pero I'm getting the feeling that I would be doing all these not far from now! I'm gonna be my family's personal masahista, tagakulay ng buhok, tagaluto, taga-saing, taga-grocery, yaya, maid and whatever you wanna call it. I'd do all those but please, pay me naman kahit 1/2 lang ng sweldo ni manang!

AAAARRRGGHHH!!! Anyway, as much as I'd like to rant about reality, the future and about grad, hindi gagawin ng scrub folders ko mag-isa ang isulat ang cases ko sa katawan niya. hehehehhe. So, stay tuned for what will have happened in a week's time!

Let me end this entry with something about reality and how, well, it sucks! HAHHAA! JOKE! Hindi naman! KAKATUWA NGA EH! hahahha! Reality has its way of amusing us in an annoying way nga lang!

ODIBA!

P.S. I discovered a new song from taylor swift's video blog, pero luma na pala and I love it! SO CATCHY! Hope you catch it too! WHAT?!?!? CIAO! Go make someone happy! ADIEU! BABOOOSH!

of magic and inspiration!

2011-03-05T23:05:00.003+08:00

Today, I did nothing but listen to new songs (tons of pure magic and talent through people who post their videos online). Thanks to youtube, they do not only get to share their talents worldwide, but they also get to inspire people through it!

So, today I was all about into chillin' and discovering new talents (talent scout?) for a breath of fresh air and to feel some good vibes in the air (ano daw??!) haha. Good thing our president posted this one on our FB group and what a way to start our first day to freedom.. I mean first day of summer pala! summer na? hahaha

soooper bum song, isn't it? bagay lang talaga sa 'kin!

This one I discovered (and which I found so inspiring), from the awesome movie, Voyage of the Dawn Treader:

I sooper love the intro to this version, however, I liked the original version more!

and as the song says, "we can be the kings and queens of anything, if we believe!" ODIBA!

This next one is sooooper awesome, as in to highest level na talaga! Freelance Whales is a band I never knew existed 'til someone posted a link to this song on twitter! I seriously am in love with them (and trivia: Darren Criss's bro is in it, I'm guessing he's the one playing the banjo here)

Just the uniqueness and variety of the instruments they used made their music sound magical, and relaxing, and well, unique! Promise, ma-i-inlove kayo! Sana may mga ganitong ka-artistic na musicians sa Pinas noh?

another one...

and another one:

I also found him (I mean, my bro introduced him to me), yep pinakilala! hahaha. SUNGHA JUNG, the guitar genius! Someday, I promised myself, I'm gonna learn how to PLUCK the guitar like this kid, maybe even better than him...someday, but not today. HAHA! I could only do a few of those, but I guess I have no patience for it still. Ang kinarir ko lang eh yung intro ng "where are you now" try mo madali lang!

and another fave:

and this one.... I don't know how he did it, the only thing I know is that halimaw siya or alien! hahaha! anggaling lang talaga! hahahaha

And finally, si AVRIL LAVIGNE! Yep she's back!
You know, earlier today, I was just thinking how I didn't like her latest single the first time I heard it. I AM A BIG AVRIL FAN, always have and always will, but I was disappointed when this first came out. I thought that this would actually be the first AL song that I wouldn't like, but when I listened to it again today, I couldn't move on to the next song! I listened to it while massaging my mom, before washing the dishes (ala badass rockstar pa with an imaginary mic on hand), while washing the dishes and after washing the dishes!! I couldn't get myself to stop! So I guess I'll never get tired of listening to avril after all! Been a fan of hers since 8 years ago when she came out with her first album up until now! I LOVE HER!

all my life i've been good, but, woah, what the hell!!

ALL I WANT IS TO MESS AROUND, and I don't really care about!

plus she looks soooper sexy in this video pala! must have body this summer as if may time mag-beach eh!

and before I forget, I personally looked these guys up online (coz I was soooo addicted to this song nga diba?) and boy am I glad I found them coz they were sooooper awesome!! plus I love the cat which jumped back and forth in the background throughout the whole song! hahaha

OoOoPs! May isang song na pa-OP! Shempre di lang puro new songs, kelangan rin ng.....

This song, I remembered because of the song, :there's a place for us" ( yep, that one i mentioned earlier). I found the two very similar since they're both very catchy, inspirational and both came out of a fantasy movie!

so there, hope you guys love these as much as I do! Keep believing in magic and inspire others with it!

FLY...FLY..UP UP HERE WE GO!

2011-03-03T14:31:00.001+08:00

Today was the first day of our last FINAL exams ever! as in ever ever... and when I got home, eto yung unang tumugtog sa player ko.. intense.. So fitting! Pero again, I wanna thank you Lord, my friends and of course, my family for helping me get by... for helping me get through those 4 years of pure hardship! I may be terrified of what's gonna happen next, of what's in store for me or of what God has planned for me, pero I AM SO READY! KAYAKOTO! WOOOHOOO! BOARDS! HERE WE COME! UP UP HERE WE GO, GO!!!

Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?Providence is blind when you're terrifiedAre you still alive? Are you scared inside?When we've reach the end of the roadI will carry us home- STORY OF THE YEAR

Lifted the above entry from my tumblr account coz I wanted to write some mooooooore! hahaha!

So as I was saying, I just took my last N-106 exam today and our achievement test for Nursing Mgmt and Research but it just won't sink in that today is THE last academic week ever!

After exams, we had the usual class meeting about stuff for grad and it just felt like the usual class meeting..nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe, I just don't feel like acknowledging the fact that the end is HERE already! Maybe I'm still in DENIAL, but I surely won't let myself get past this stage because I don't want to accept the fact that I am finally free... free to do the things I've been wanting to do! I will now have the privilege of controlling my life, my time, my everything! reality just bitchslap me in the face now na! But why is it that no matter how much I wanted to get out, there still lingers this feeling of me wanting to stay, wanting to undo/redo the things I want to do again! Bakit parang naiinggit pa ako sa classmates ko na mag-me-med? Why is it that suddenly, I still want to study more? WHy is it that even though I've prayed day and night for the end to finally come and now that it's here, I just want for everything to slow down? WHy is it that I still don't want to work and just stay forever at my parents' house? hahahhaa! LABO talaga! Bakit ba feeling ko bata pa ko masyado para sa real world? para magtrabaho eh sa katunayan, 21 years old na ako!! ANO BA YAN?!?!? Ganito ba talaga? Ganito rin kaya na-f-feel ng batchmates ko? ng lahat ng ga-graduate?!??! waaaahahahahhuhuhuhuhu!!!

I feel so ambivalent, so undecided. I do have a plan, don't I? SHIT! andami kong plano sa buhay! SAna magawa ko lahat!! LORD eto na naman ako! magpapalakas na naman sayo!!!

Pero like what I said earlier, I am sooo effing ready and like what I told myself during the priest's homily last Sunday, whatever You want me to do Lord, I will do! I trust in You!

i must be doing something right

2011-03-02T19:04:00.001+08:00

Never thought that I'd be so inspired
Never thought that I'd find the higher truth
I believed that love was overrated
'Till the moment I found you

Now baby I know I don't deserve
The love you give me
But now I understand that

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing
Doing something right

It's because of you I feel so lifted
I've been looking at my life from higher ground
Never thought that I'd be so elated
You're the one who turned it all around

Now baby, I didn't know myself
Until you changed me
And made me understand that

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing
Doing something right
Oh

And baby I know I don't deserve the love you give me
But I don't really care, cause

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing (I know I must be doing)
Doing something right (Doing something right)

Doing something right
Yeah yeah
Something right

So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing (I know I must be doing)
Must be doing something right
Yeah yeah
Something right

conyomandments!

2011-03-01T22:13:00.001+08:00

I got this from my friend's old blog. I know I have copied and pasted this numerous times, but I just won't get tired of it and I probably won't...not ever... I might even post this AGAIN on a new blog sometime in the future, but who cares? Masaya eh! This won't ever get old, not for me at least!

1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa".
ex. "Let's make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"

2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.
ex. "I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?"
"What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"
"Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"

3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO pang-uri!"
ex. "It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"
"You're making me inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare"
ex. "Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
ex. "My bag is so bigat today, you know"
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
ex. "I have so many tigyawats, oh!"

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
ex. "Like, it's so init naman!"
"Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!"

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
ex. "Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"
ex. "Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT"
"I know right? It's so kaka!"
"Kaka?"
"Kakaasar!"

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
ex. "I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"
"Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"

sonnet XVII

2011-03-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

I found this sonnet on someone's blog I recently discovered, and I liked it because it doesn't necessarily describe love as something beautiful or perfect... because it is not, but through its imperfections, you find the real beauty and that genuine feeling that makes it truly wonderful! shet mushy eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

-Pablo Neruda

BV

2011-03-01T21:46:00.001+08:00

F*ck this, my cellphone's too fvcked up to function! Memory's low so it just automatically deletes messages and photos and everything else para ma-accommodate yung iba pang messages. WTH?!?! Ano ba naman yung tanungin ka man lang kung papayag kang idelete yung mga yun diba? lecheng nokia to!! Last 50++ messages just got deleted...again! and pictures too!!!!

I really need to have a separate mp3 player for my songs and not just store everything on my 2gb phone memory card. Even my memory card's gone (as in literal na nawawala dun sa memory card slot sa gilid) San napunta yun diba? Anyway, SOOOPER BV today although I'm happy that today marks the last day of DUTY ever! Now all I have to do is face my instructors and professors and have my name cleared of everything down to the last pref card and finish all the remaining requirements before graduation and BV dahil I have this tiniest problem that I can't seem to find a solution to! Ganito talaga kung kelan malapit ka na sa finish line chaka ka pa madadapa! potek na buhay yan! Andami pang sagabal! Truly the night's darkest just before dawn! LECHE! To make things worse, Nag-away pa kami ng roommates ko kasi naPIKON na naman ako! I know, being the eldest, I should have already mastered the skill to give way, to get used to being the one who has to keep one's composure and all pero shet lang talaga nakakapikon na minsan lalo na kung bastusan na kung bastusan. Minsan kasi kapag nag-papaabus ka, aabusuhin ka lang talaga! Nasasaktan rin naman ako kahit lagi akong pa-kenkoy and patawa! Soooper na-h-hurt din ako minsan and hindi nila ata ako kayang seryosohin minsan. And kanina, sa tingin ko nasa lugar naman ako para magalit dahil sobrang pinagtulungan lang talaga nila ako and hindi ko lang talaga kinaya! I placed my share of the food bill and walked out on them. Hindi ko lang ma-take na masyado lang nila akong tinatapakan minsan and masama pa dun, parang kasalanan ko pa and parang hindi pa nila pinagsisisihan yung nagawa nila. Wala lang. Yan ang mahirap kapag nasanay lang silang inaapi-api ka nang pa-joke, minsan di na nila alam na may limitations ka rin bilang tao so hindi nila alam kung nakakasakit na sila o hindi.

PAtong-patong na problema shet. Lord please help me. I really need a friend right now pero di ako pwedeng mag-fb! shet shet shet! MALAS! must go back and focus instead on RC paperwork! Focus focus focus!

There's nothing you can do that can't be done...

2011-03-01T21:20:00.001+08:00

For so long, i've waited for someone who would be able to make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time (haha magnanakaw ng line? -hot chick), but kidding aside, it's very much a part of every girl's dream to have that special someone in their lives who'd take care of them and who'd make them feel special even in the smallest and simplest of ways. I know, 'coz it has been my dream as well to fall for someone who'd also fall for me. Yes, it's that simple yet ironically, it can also be that complicated.

This entry's too uncomfortable to write (kasi baka may makabasa! hahahha! HELLO THERE!), but I have to since I'm on a 1 week leave on fb and twitter and I can't talk to anyone but myself, so forgive me. 2-3 hours earlier, I started reading my good friend's blog, and someone else's and now, thanks to them both, I have realized that nothing's perfect in a relationship except the two people for each other (ano daw?). I know I said that I've waited too long or just long enough for love to find my way, but I also know myself too well that I won't get into something unprepared or in a careless and selfish manner. Maybe because through my friends' experiences, I have learned a lot and have become a little too afraid to risk anything to be part of something as special and as magical as love.

Way, way back during the whole first ever PBB teen edition, Kim Chiu admitted on Philippine TV that she once fell in love and got hurt. Because of that, she became hesitant to fall in love once again because of the damage that it has brought to her heart. That time, I just wanted to tell everyone how I am so not ready to fall in love for the same reason and that is....because I'm afraid to get hurt...wala lang.. para lang pacute! ECHOS! But today, hypothetically speaking, I feel like if put in a situation wherein someone would come along and try to woo me (hypothetically lang! hahaha!), I would definitely try as hard as I may to push that person away not because I am playing hard-to-get or not because I am still in my pacute-Kim-Chiu phase, but because I am not prepared for the consequences of love....which all lead to one thing in the end...getting hurt. Pero sabi nga nila, hindi ka pwedeng ma-inlove ng hindi nasasaktan. Like what my rlemate told me... "Parte yan ng pag-ibig". Curaazzee, why does the simplicity of love have to be so complicated and painful? Why do they say that love is the best feeling in the world yet andami-daming umiiyak dahil din sa love? Anggulo noh? Anyway, it's 9:17 already. By now, I should have finished at least a selection in RC!!! Good thing I am still wide awake (thanks to nescafe!). Sana tumagal pa epek nito til tom! haha! no sleep tonight....

NOW PLAYING: every breath you take/chasing cars (MASHUP from JUST GO WITH IT ost)

aphrodite...

2011-02-27T02:09:00.001+08:00

Just a few hours ago, I talked to my longtime friends on facebook through personal messaging. In both conversations (yes, I had two separate convos with them tonight since we weren't able to meet up online, all at the same time), I actually became more of a counselor rather than the one being counselled (since most of the time, I was the one who needed counselling). Anyway, the first online convo I had was with my best friend, and we talked about love and all the frustrations that came with it, while the next one, with our other kabarkada, was more on beauty/insecurities.

To tell you the truth, everytime my friends and I have deep conversations like these, I tend to just keep my mouth shut since I am no expert on love/ beauty or any problem/issue for that matter. I'm just not the opinionated type, but tonight, I realized that somehow, through these conversations, I slowly discover that I make a good counselor/listener after all. I also thank them for appreciating the time I've spent listening to whatever they had to say and for giving them words of encouragement that I know they need!

I also used to have a lot of really deep, late night, facebook talks with my best friend and I can honestly say that I am proud of whatever has come out of my mouth (or what my hands have typed) and told her in the past and earlier this evening. Hopefully, she'll just take my word for it and won't stop believing!

Aside from that, I also had another talk with another friend (as I've said) and it was really helpful/therapeutic both to me and to her (hopefully!), since she admitted it herself. To cut to the chase, I was able to let her let it all out, to verbalize whatever it was she needed to bring out of her. Good enough, she was able to entrust to me her deepest and darkest sorrows. I'm telling you, this has got to be our best and most meaningful conversation yet, in a longtime that we've been friends and I appreciate the fact that she was really grateful for that, so thank you Lord. I would not have been that mushy and helpful without your help (as always!).

So basically, I'd just like to blame Aphrodite for being the goddess of Love and Beauty. It surely sucks to be loveless and ugly. Good thing we're all pretty and happy in our individual lives... ows?? hahahha! eh bakit may convos na ganun kung wala eh? gets mo na yan!! Anyway, I really need to sleep now.... must do pref card tomorrow or later when I wake up at 4am!!! Good night!!

the martian girl

I moved........

74%

You and B are74% Compatible

oonga, why nursing, Mars?

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

getting productive...

LAST POST, I PROMISE!!!!!

Can I just Say that...

LUPE FIASSSCOOOOOOO covers!!!

HOW TOs...

the show goes on...

I FREAKIN' PASSED THE JULY 2011 NURSING LICENSURE EXAMINATIONS!!!!!

:(

strawberry fields forever...

of love and loss...

it's always been a dream of mine to....

hold on...

BRUNO MARS!!!!

Padre Pio

LIFE UNEXPECTED....

REBLOGGED!--warning soooper mushy!---100th POST!!!

UPDATED!

CALIFORNIA KING BEEEEEEEEED

THE WEDDING GOWN

can't get enough of.....

POSITIVE ENERGY for everyone!

1. the person you like and why you like them

WRITE

reality bites......like a tiger! weh weh

MMK

BAD VIBES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPER!

CRAZIER THINGS have happened....

feeling much better...

BUMness chuvaness and cheverly

IN FAIR VERONA!!!

YAYA DUTIES!

NEVER GONNA LEAVE THIS BED...

CLEARED...reblogged from tumblr SATURDAY (03/19/11)

things we forget...

things i discovered about myself today...

BACKFIRE...

HAPPINESS!!!

omygaawd shoes!

i tweeted....

of magic and inspiration!

FLY...FLY..UP UP HERE WE GO!

i must be doing something right

conyomandments!

sonnet XVII

BV

There's nothing you can do that can't be done...

aphrodite...

You and B are
74% Compatible