BAD VIBES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPER!

You know what sucks? it's having to come home, tired from the long commute from school and having that hunch that your parents argued again.... straightforward eh. OO dinederecho ko na, since pagpasok ko sa bahay, hindi ako kinulit ni mama. And to think that I have been having a bad day since dismissal time since I've been having these ill/paranoid thoughts again. Mejo nakakaasar lang na sobrang BV ko kahapon, so I just kinda slept through it after having dinner by myself. Gaaawwwd what's happening again? Dumagdag pa yung issue with bestfriend so I just had to take it out on twitter. So I made parinig--conyo? (but it wasn't meant for one person only kaya nga all I said was magsama-sama kayong lahat). Yehes, Those. Strong. Words. Too strong pa ata that got "some" people concerned *wink wink* and others affected. Thank God.

It's really hard for me to come to terms with frustration, with arguments, with sadness since I'm naturally a happy person. So I just feel like every sadness is a punishment or every sadness is there to balance things out especially if you've been sooo happy for a time (masyado kang masaya, magpaka-emo ka naman, tipong ganun). Maybe because I didn't pass by the church on the way home?? (but still, that's where I went to first thing in the morning like what I always do). Haaaaaaayyyy, na-feel ko tuloy na yung thing dito sa bahay eh dahil sa tinatamad si tooots na sumama sa family roadtrip kaya nagpapaka-badtrip na lang siya para di kami makasama? Shet sama... JOKE LANG!! I really want to go pero ever since Sunday (when mama told us the bad news) na feel ko na rin naman na baka nga di na matuloy. I was looking forward to this week (well siguro sabi ni God, this week is not a time for a family roadtrip, it's a season of sadness so heto na ang ultimate downer) since last last week pa ata. GGrrrrrRrrRr

To add to this, my bestfriend and I are going through a rift these past days or past week na ata. I think that somehow my parinig on twitter made her realize that I finally lost it. Had I not tweeted that, I don't think she would wanna talk to me or apologize man lang coz she's always like that. I know she's going through a lot of things too (and she explained everything to me when she texted last night, after reading my tweet I suppose) but she always makes me feel guilty of something I'm not even aware of. Ayoko pa naman yung bigla na lang nagagalit nang walang dahilan. Paano ako mag-s-sorry diba, eh hindi ko man lang alam yung dahilan. But I should talk to her soon, maybe later....

Lastly, I just found out something....scratch that---a lot of things pala about certain people whom I thought are good people (good people naman sila, kaya nga nung may something lang silang nagawa, it  made me think, sila ba talaga yun? nagawa nila yun?), but don't take this the wrong way. I am not in the right position to judge or to rant about them since I don't know the whole story (and I know that they're good people talaga haha), but it made me think twice about a lot of things, even this "thing" that's been making me giddy and happy for a few months now. I know that they do have their reasons for doing what they did, and I understand that. What I cannot accept is the way they did it. Pero may tama bang paraan pano gawin yun? siguro meron pero di ko alam kung paano. Anyway, I am not, in any way involved in this issue (nakikisali pa kasi), napaisip lang ako (being paranoid with trust issues) baka  may chance na mangyari rin sa akin yung nangyari dun sa taong kakilala ko (which is scary, btw). I know I'm being too safe in writing about this issue hahahah takot. hindi ko na nga maintindihan yung pinagsasabi ko. LONG STORY SHORT: I'm afraid of a lot of things and i'ts making me think of even more scarier things...a lot of what if's and what nots. It's making me doubt the things I thought were real (di ko na alam paniniwalaan ko). Masama na kung masama pero paano kung nang-t-trip lang pala yung mga tao? Paano rin pala kung hindi man sila nang-t-trip, pero one wrong move ko lang gawan na nila ako ng masama? I'm not perfect. I'm not even close to being half the person who's close to perfect kaya pano kung may magawa lang akong isang maling bagay? SHUUUCKKKSS paranoid!

Anway, my bestfriend and I are not in good terms right now, so I cannot share this to anyone but you, my beloved blog..... kausapin ba daw? anyway..... at least I was able to take it out kahit papanoooo...

It's almost 5am! Gotta prep for review class again!!! YES KELANGAN GANYAN KA-ENTHUSIASTIC! I'm looking forward to a much better day so I need this POSITIVITY! God bless us all! Have a great day! :) --> yep, that's a smiley my friends! Nag-s-smiley na ako ngayon! :) :P XD

CRAZIER THINGS have happened....

I know I have been busy with a lot of things so I haven't had time for any updates... and I also know that I'm supposed to study today and to get into serious mode (I promise to, after I post this hahahhaa!), pero this made me so giddy and I'd want to answer this someday! LANDI! hahaha!


Anyway, before this entry gets any longer, I'd share it to you nah! I found this on candymag and I'm posting it here coz I can relate (a little bit) hahahhaha! Disclaimer: This post does not belong to me. Natuwa lang ako coz of all the people who made a post under this thread/who answered this survey (?), siya yung pinakamagaling sumagot at pinaka-nakarelate ako! hahahha!! Yun lang! 

and shempre kelangan may kanta para 
mas ma feel nyo yung pagbasa! 
wahhahahahha... thanks to B for letting 
me listen to this. on repeat mode!






DISCLAIMER (partII): Created by: untamed77angel

- Saan kayo unang nagkakilala o paano kayo naging magkakilala?
We have a common friend who introduced us to each other when we attended his birthday party. 

- Ano ang una niyong ginawa or naging situation bago maging kayo? Meaning to say sa pagkakaibigan niyo bakit kayong dalawa mismo ang close sa bawat isa?
We easily became comfortable with each other even at our first meeting because he's really a nice guy and knows how to carry a conversation well. Then, we became frequent text mates for a few months before we went out on our first date.

- Niligawan ka ba o hindi? At Bakit?
We didn't actually went through the usual stage of ligaw. Our relationship was kind of Westernized in a way, from casual dates to exclusively dating.

- Paano kayo nagkadevelopan?
It started whem he told me he likes me on our fourth date (we were still dating other people that time) and asked if we could date each other exclusively.

- Paano niyo rin naipahiwatig na may nararamdaman nga kayo sa bawat isa?
I express my feelings for him through letters. I write short essays and poems for him and deliver it the traditional way -- yes, by mail. But I took him by surprise one time when I made the first move of holding his hand (he knows that I'm not a huge fan of PDAs), he was totally grinning like loony all day. 

He, on the other hand, shows his affection through actions a lot. He loves tracing the lines of my palms and making imaginary doodles on it. 

- Paano mo nasigurado na may nararamdaman kayong pagmamahalan sa bawat isa?
He makes me feel secure with the relationship we have. It's intimate, but not tightly gripped nor loose. 

- Ano ang nagustuhan mo sa kanya?
His fidelity. 

- Ano naman ang nagustuhan niya sayo?
My tactless, straightforward personality. Haha. 

- Ano ang preferences mo sa pagkakaroon ng minamahal?
Intellect, humor, and sense of security.

- Siya ba ang taong hinahanap hanap niyo? Natupad ba ang preferences mo na gusto mo pag nagkaroon ka ng minamahal? At Bakit?
My friends coined my guy as "the marrying-type" because he fits our self-made checklist of the guy we want to marry someday. 

- Kelan officially naging kayo at bakit yun ang date and month na napili niyo? Ano ang ibig sabihin ng numero para sa inyong dalawa?
We can't exactly remember when we actually became a couple so he chose February 14 instead. He said it'll be sweet to celebrate our anniversary in line with the V-day; I said it was cheesy. LOL. 

- Ilang months na kayo?
We'll be celebrating our 11th month-anniversary on January 14th. 

- Nagcecelebrate ba kayo ng inyong monthsary? at bakit?
We 'celebrate' our month-anniversary in a different sense of the word. We don't prepare special dinner or gifts for each other, rather we just make sure that we see each other that day even if we're really busy. Even an hour will do, as long as we get to say our greetings personally. 

- Pinakilala mo na ba siya sa iyong mga magulang, pamilya at kamag-anak? Pati sa mga kaibigan? Kung OO ano ang kanilang naging reaction para sa partner mo? Kung hindi pa pinapakilala bakit naman?
My dad, my grandmother, some of my relatives and my best friends since elementary have already met him when he visited my province. My dad wasn't saying anything about him until my boyfriend had already left and said these exact words: "Mabait, gwapo. I like him for you, anak. Sige, magpakasal na kayo." Of course he was just joking about the last part. Haha. 

He still hasn't met my mom because she's working abroad. I plan to introduce him when she flies home in time for my graduation. 

- Pinakilala ka na rin ba niya sa mga magulang, pamilya at kamag-anak? Pati sa mga kaibigan mo? Kung OO ano ang naging reaction nila sayo nung makita ka or something like ano ang nasabi na nila about you? Pero kung hindi pa bakit naman?
I met his parents when we attended the mass together. He actually didn't tell me that his parents would be there because he knew I wouldn't come because I'll definitely shy away.

They were really nice during our first rendezvous. They even said that I was the first girl their son has ever introduced to them. Aww. 

- Bukod sa isang minamahal ano pa ang trato mo sa kanya at bakit? Kaibigan/bestfriend, alaga, magulang, kapatid o kung ano pa?
I treat him as my best friend (I'm not afraid to tell him my thoughts and my embarrassing moments) and like an older brother (I respect him). 

- Naging open minded ka ba sa kanya sa lahat ng bagay? yung tipong lahat ng sikreto mo alam niya?
Of course keeping secrets to each other is not new in a relationship. Even though we promised to keep an open relationship, we respect each other's personal boundaries. 

- Ano ang madalas niyong alitan? Paano niyo ito naisesettle or paano kayo nagsesettle? May araw ba na nagkakatampuhan kayo? Yung tipong hindi kayo mag-uusap ng matagal tapos darating rin ang oras na magbabati rin kayo?
We hardly argue actually, and mostly I'm the one losing it first. LOL.  I can give him the silent treatment for days, but he can't stand it. He'll apologize throughharana and singing John Mayer's songs or delivering uber corny jokes, which will surely crack me up and we'll make up even before the day ends.

- Hanggang ngayon ba nararamdaman niyo rin na in love pa rin kayo sa kanya?
Yes. Every single second of every day.

- Kahit matagal na kayong magkasama nagliligawan pa rin ba kayo?
He likes leaving hidden notes in my stuff. Magugulat na lang ako kapag bubuksan ko 'yung book ko or case file may note s'ya saying: "Take care of yourself", "I miss you already", and, my personal favorite, "I love you more today than yesterday". 

« Last Edit: January 12, 2009, 01:23:15 pm by untamed77angel »