FLY...FLY..UP UP HERE WE GO!

Today was the first day of our last FINAL exams ever! as in ever ever... and when I got home, eto yung unang tumugtog sa player ko.. intense.. So fitting! Pero again, I wanna thank you Lord, my friends and of course, my family for helping me get by... for helping me get through those 4 years of pure hardship! I may be terrified of what's gonna happen next, of what's in store for me or of what God has planned for me, pero I AM SO READY! KAYAKOTO! WOOOHOOO! BOARDS! HERE WE COME! UP UP HERE WE GO, GO!!!

Are you still alive? Are you scared inside?Providence is blind when you're terrifiedAre you still alive? Are you scared inside?When we've reach the end of the roadI will carry us home- STORY OF THE YEAR

 Lifted the above entry from my tumblr account coz I wanted to write some mooooooore! hahaha! 

So as I was saying, I just took my last N-106 exam today and our achievement test for Nursing Mgmt and Research but it just won't sink in that today is THE last academic week ever!

After exams, we had the usual class meeting about stuff for grad and it just felt like the usual class meeting..nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe, I just don't feel like acknowledging the fact that the end is HERE already! Maybe I'm still in DENIAL, but I surely won't let myself get past this stage because I don't want to accept the fact that I am finally free... free to do the things I've been wanting to do! I will now have the privilege  of controlling my life, my time, my everything! reality just bitchslap me in the face now na! But why is it that no matter how much I wanted to get out, there still lingers this feeling of me wanting to stay, wanting to undo/redo the things I want to do again! Bakit parang naiinggit pa ako sa classmates ko na mag-me-med? Why is it that suddenly, I still want to study more? WHy is it that even though I've prayed day and night for the end to finally come and now that it's here, I just want for everything to slow down? WHy is it that I still don't want to work and just stay forever at my parents' house? hahahhaa! LABO talaga! Bakit ba feeling ko bata pa ko masyado para sa real world? para magtrabaho eh sa katunayan, 21 years old na ako!! ANO BA YAN?!?!? Ganito ba talaga? Ganito rin kaya na-f-feel ng batchmates ko? ng lahat ng ga-graduate?!??! waaaahahahahhuhuhuhuhu!!!

I feel so ambivalent, so undecided. I do have a plan, don't I? SHIT! andami kong plano sa buhay! SAna magawa ko lahat!! LORD eto na naman ako! magpapalakas na naman sayo!!! 

Pero like what I said earlier, I am sooo effing ready and like what I told myself during the priest's homily last Sunday, whatever You want me to do Lord, I will do! I trust in You!