getting productive...

I'm finally beginning to take hold of my life, or so I think; but nevertheless, I actually feel like I'm beginning to do something good for once in my life. Yesterday, I was with my best friend, looking for hospitals that are open for employment or for training for newly-graduated/registered nurses. Though 2 out of the 5 hospitals we went to weren't accepting applicants as of the moment, we still felt a bit hopeful of the fact that somehow, the rest accepted our resumes!!!! Iba pala talaga yung pakiramdam pag alam mong yung hirap at pagod mo may napuntahan talaga! Plus, we were finally able to get out of our bum routines, leave that lazy couch at home and do something MEGA productive!

Oh the perils, este the joys of Job Hunting pala: We didn't have our own car (which would've made hospital hunting easier), we almost ran out of funds (thanks to the the requirements that needed express processing and photocopying), we ate lunch at around 2 in the afternoon already, we even had to literally walk from hospital to hospital under the scorching heat; but by the end of the day, it was worth all the calloused feet, sunburned, greasy face and disgusting, haggard look because we felt like we finally had accomplished something and it's quite encouraging, knowing that someday, these institutions might actually take time and give us a call or even hire us for a position we've been asking for. 

Nikki, taking a pic of the requirements

requirements!

passed by my dormie!

Job hunting also made me feel a bit more eager (as compared to a few months back) to work already. Some people would've wanted to work as early as days after graduation or in our case, after completing the requirements for work, but not me. I felt like I got too burnt out or stressed back in college, that I just wanted to live my BUM dream and vowed never to work again. Thankfully, that Juan Tamad in me finally had the initiative to stand up and grab that guava out of that tree instead of just waiting for it to fall into his mouth. I finally felt that I wanted to work and take care of patients again. Maybe I just needed that reality check to give me a little push. I realized that I need to stop being a freakin' lazy couch potato and work my ass off to earn money and help pay the bills at home! SERIOUS MODE NA!!!

St. Luke's, qc

One reason why I suddenly lost interest din in working early is because of my love-hate relationship withe my course (gusto pa!). I felt like I hated nursing more than I should have loved it from the start pa lang, unlike the others, though I admit that no one forced me to take this but myself. Then slowly, I began to realize that Nursing made me feel bad about myself. It made me feel inferior couple of times. It pushed my self-esteem so low, it almost hit the ground, but now that I'm happy to say that I actually miss it!!! I never thought that I'd be wanting to clean up after my patients again, to take time and establish rapport again, to administer medications, feeding and hopefully do whatever it is that I haven't done yet (in my 3 years of hospital duty as a student nurse). I'd like to believe that I've become stronger and much braver to actually want all these things in my life again. I still am so scared that I might not be able to do my duties well enough or that I might do something to compromise not only my license but those of my patients lives. But I believe that I am good, or great even, and I have the potential to be the best nurse, if I work hard enough. I'd even want to promise myself that once I get hired either as a nurse trainee or if I'm lucky as a staff nurse, I would do my best to help my patients recover and obtain optimum well being again! I PROMISE! 

BUKO SHAKE LOVE after a long day :)